Joanne, Take a step back.
July 31, 2006
The amount of times you put yourself through all the misgivings and malcontentment over the same issue will not grant you more happiness. You knew that. Then, why? Why do you have to gloss over the very issue that you know you are unhappy with. Is it necessary to keep the process of ,concealing ; distorting and subsequently burrying , repeating itself mindlessly. With each repeat, nothing seems to change for positivity?
Perhaps if you had a heart void of emotions, all these will not bother to bother you the least bit. The point is, you don't. And because you're not superhuman, you'll let your damn human instincts overwhelm you. You'll let it destroy you into a state of paranoia and subsequently allow yourself to crumble. So easily, so quickly.
Many times, you wished the source of you misery would well be put through the same process. Knowing that revenge gets you no further than where you already are, you just got to freaking swallow your pride and let your rational self take over.
What happens when you feel in a particular way which you know will never be reciprocated? Or say you feel in a particular way in which you know you're just another person, not someone more special? Feel torn but don't tear things apart. The way it is, is probably the best that it can ever be. No, don't bend things/situations so that it syncs with you. The right way to do it, is to accept the fact that, bitch you're not the princess and no one is gona care about you if they'd already decided not to.
What happens when no one mends your jealousy or miscontendment for that matter? Take a deep breath, rant about it to a friend. Well they say blogsphere is a world of attention seekers. That said, let it be. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. If you don't value them, don't criticize them. The reason why people seek attention is because there is a lack of it in their lives. Therefore, let them be. On the other hand, i believe that contrary to the former thwarted thinking, the blogsphere is just another outlet to let you speak your mind. Of course, there are a multitude of views on this.
I think, commitment is so vague. Especially so in a relationship which you know deep deep down inside that will not hold water. Many people are commitment-phobic. Men and women alike can be commitment-phobic. But , it is important to realise that, it has got nothing to do with you. Commitment is after all a rule of attraction, or so they say. Seriously, it will lose its meaning with every new person that comes into your life. The way the world is, has made you to think this way. Scary? Commitment is vague.
A page of thoughts.Bythe way, on a random note, I think writers are very sad individuals.
Perhaps if you had a heart void of emotions, all these will not bother to bother you the least bit. The point is, you don't. And because you're not superhuman, you'll let your damn human instincts overwhelm you. You'll let it destroy you into a state of paranoia and subsequently allow yourself to crumble. So easily, so quickly.
Many times, you wished the source of you misery would well be put through the same process. Knowing that revenge gets you no further than where you already are, you just got to freaking swallow your pride and let your rational self take over.
What happens when you feel in a particular way which you know will never be reciprocated? Or say you feel in a particular way in which you know you're just another person, not someone more special? Feel torn but don't tear things apart. The way it is, is probably the best that it can ever be. No, don't bend things/situations so that it syncs with you. The right way to do it, is to accept the fact that, bitch you're not the princess and no one is gona care about you if they'd already decided not to.
What happens when no one mends your jealousy or miscontendment for that matter? Take a deep breath, rant about it to a friend. Well they say blogsphere is a world of attention seekers. That said, let it be. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. If you don't value them, don't criticize them. The reason why people seek attention is because there is a lack of it in their lives. Therefore, let them be. On the other hand, i believe that contrary to the former thwarted thinking, the blogsphere is just another outlet to let you speak your mind. Of course, there are a multitude of views on this.
I think, commitment is so vague. Especially so in a relationship which you know deep deep down inside that will not hold water. Many people are commitment-phobic. Men and women alike can be commitment-phobic. But , it is important to realise that, it has got nothing to do with you. Commitment is after all a rule of attraction, or so they say. Seriously, it will lose its meaning with every new person that comes into your life. The way the world is, has made you to think this way. Scary? Commitment is vague.
A page of thoughts.Bythe way, on a random note, I think writers are very sad individuals.
July 30, 2006
By the time i reached, what little left of Amanda's Birthday Celebration was, to put it in a more galmorous yet intricate manner, a mixture of wasted, liquored up, tipsy young ladies.Im sorry i couldn't make this sound more galmorous darlings and bimbos!
The players of the night
The night was still so young ! Why did you guys had to do that to me?! Ah well, at least im the Miss Most Sane Nicole's Friend according to ken. That is more comforting eh? =P
Then the next most comforting thing is Maggie Mee soup with Egg at 33o in the morning cooked with fatigued hands but truck load of love. My master. =)
The players of the night
The night was still so young ! Why did you guys had to do that to me?! Ah well, at least im the Miss Most Sane Nicole's Friend according to ken. That is more comforting eh? =P
Then the next most comforting thing is Maggie Mee soup with Egg at 33o in the morning cooked with fatigued hands but truck load of love. My master. =)
July 28, 2006
Some are just a pain read.
July 25, 2006
Being drugged more than 24hrs continuously was a bliss! *winks*. It's been 8 months of addiction and i foresee to be more reliant on him. =)
The couple went on a hair therapy session for 4hours yesterday!As ironic as this may sound, the vain person is not the girl apparently.Have you heard of a guy who perms his hair thrice in 2 months? Well you just did. Anyhow, it's a nice funky change. I like! Guys on the streets have boring hairstyles.So boring that i've been checking girls out since....
I've finally gotten myself soft curls ! Now, both of us have nicely curled hair! Or to put it in a crude term..chemically damaged hair! I knew it all along that it's gona be 10x more difficult for a lazy person like me to maintain my new hair so that is probably the only reason why i kept procrastinating.
Verdict? I love 'em!. Then again, i don't want to make a disaster out of my crowning glory.For the death of me, I'd better wake up earlier to do the necessary maintanence from now on.
After the butt splitting long long hours at the hairdresser's, we headed for dinner @ marche. It's been ages since i last went there but it's still as unworthy of my cash as ever. It's one thing to be expensive and another to be not worth it. Other than that, the pork knuckles was *nosebleed* and the huge sausage with rosti makes me a very happy person! ( don't ask me why, but i nv use to like sausages) . Then, what's marche without the waffles and movenpick eh? Strawberries with waffles was awesome! =)
Last stop, we headed to Kbox with his peeps . It was a good change from my usual buay paiseh shouting into the microphone. Ever since last night, i have decided that i'll make a conscious effort to sing properly when i am out with my own girlies. Well Seriously, i was trying so hard to keep my poise in the room. Maybe im being xim peh again but... There's a certain conduct for every social group i reckon?Besides, im too chor lor for my own good sometimes. Tell me how you can morph a Miss Demure out of me?
As of now, I think Huiyi is a really nice girl! And she's as bo liao as i am. Thinking back, its unbelieveable that we blacked out the whole room, pretending that we were kidnapped and raped just to erm.. scare mr low and cheng? aha. Once in awhile,with the right khaki, it is always fun to do nonsense like this. =p . And i think we have complementary eating habits. We like different things in the snack bowl. So she gives me all the nuts, i give her the orange pillow cracker and everything else! =) Haa... Great fun!And I just wish i could be as small/skinny as her sometimes! She eats non stop and is still so small. If i eat non stop..alright you won't hear the end of this.
The couple went on a hair therapy session for 4hours yesterday!As ironic as this may sound, the vain person is not the girl apparently.Have you heard of a guy who perms his hair thrice in 2 months? Well you just did. Anyhow, it's a nice funky change. I like! Guys on the streets have boring hairstyles.So boring that i've been checking girls out since....
I've finally gotten myself soft curls ! Now, both of us have nicely curled hair! Or to put it in a crude term..chemically damaged hair! I knew it all along that it's gona be 10x more difficult for a lazy person like me to maintain my new hair so that is probably the only reason why i kept procrastinating.
Verdict? I love 'em!. Then again, i don't want to make a disaster out of my crowning glory.For the death of me, I'd better wake up earlier to do the necessary maintanence from now on.
After the butt splitting long long hours at the hairdresser's, we headed for dinner @ marche. It's been ages since i last went there but it's still as unworthy of my cash as ever. It's one thing to be expensive and another to be not worth it. Other than that, the pork knuckles was *nosebleed* and the huge sausage with rosti makes me a very happy person! ( don't ask me why, but i nv use to like sausages) . Then, what's marche without the waffles and movenpick eh? Strawberries with waffles was awesome! =)
Last stop, we headed to Kbox with his peeps . It was a good change from my usual buay paiseh shouting into the microphone. Ever since last night, i have decided that i'll make a conscious effort to sing properly when i am out with my own girlies. Well Seriously, i was trying so hard to keep my poise in the room. Maybe im being xim peh again but... There's a certain conduct for every social group i reckon?Besides, im too chor lor for my own good sometimes. Tell me how you can morph a Miss Demure out of me?
As of now, I think Huiyi is a really nice girl! And she's as bo liao as i am. Thinking back, its unbelieveable that we blacked out the whole room, pretending that we were kidnapped and raped just to erm.. scare mr low and cheng? aha. Once in awhile,with the right khaki, it is always fun to do nonsense like this. =p . And i think we have complementary eating habits. We like different things in the snack bowl. So she gives me all the nuts, i give her the orange pillow cracker and everything else! =) Haa... Great fun!And I just wish i could be as small/skinny as her sometimes! She eats non stop and is still so small. If i eat non stop..alright you won't hear the end of this.
July 22, 2006
After graduation, people begin to clock in full months after months in their entry-level jobs , sounding all wretched. Banks, advertising firms, book publishing houses- it didn't matter- they were all utterly miserable.People whine about the long days, the coworkers,the office politics. But more than anything else, they complain bitterly about the boredom.Compared with school, the task required of them were mindless, unnecessary, fit for a chimp. They spoke of the many many hours spent plugging numbers in databases and cold-calling people who didn't want to be called.Of listlessly cataloging years' worth of information on computer screen and researching entirely irrelevant subjects for months on end so their supervisors thought they were productive.Each swore they'd actually gotten dumber in the short amount of time since graduation, and there was no escape in sight.
I imagine graduation to be a happy affair, only right after you graduate, struting in your gowns during convocation and wearing the motar hat which joel puts it to be great for serving food on one side and soup when you overturn it! Not quite when you have to start committing to your job. If it were a career, things might be different. But i guess many of us do not enjoy what we are doing 70% of the time if not for the money factor. The farewell party for the seniors just triggered thoughts of my life to be more realistic once again. After all the requisite look-over, we're all starting on equal grounds. Even if i don't hold a first class honours, i could possibly be a happier, more fulfilled individual who can truly say that i am doing what i am doing out of my passion. So cheesy! did i really have to use the word "passion"?. At the moment, my affinity to want to write is still there. Still. I know it sounds very funny coming out of my mouth but i really hope to combine fashion and writing. It really sounds good to me! That's really the only reason why i am reading 'the devil wears prada'. =)
I'll be back with the photos taken tonight soon!
Time to snuggle up my with my blanket.
Until this point, if you would permit this, i kinda miss him.
I imagine graduation to be a happy affair, only right after you graduate, struting in your gowns during convocation and wearing the motar hat which joel puts it to be great for serving food on one side and soup when you overturn it! Not quite when you have to start committing to your job. If it were a career, things might be different. But i guess many of us do not enjoy what we are doing 70% of the time if not for the money factor. The farewell party for the seniors just triggered thoughts of my life to be more realistic once again. After all the requisite look-over, we're all starting on equal grounds. Even if i don't hold a first class honours, i could possibly be a happier, more fulfilled individual who can truly say that i am doing what i am doing out of my passion. So cheesy! did i really have to use the word "passion"?. At the moment, my affinity to want to write is still there. Still. I know it sounds very funny coming out of my mouth but i really hope to combine fashion and writing. It really sounds good to me! That's really the only reason why i am reading 'the devil wears prada'. =)
I'll be back with the photos taken tonight soon!
Time to snuggle up my with my blanket.
Until this point, if you would permit this, i kinda miss him.
This song has been on repeat mode for 1hour.
I love Jay Chou.
I.Love.Him.So.Much.
珊瑚海
Shan Hu Hai
(周杰倫) 海平面遠方開始陰霾
(Jay) hai ping mian yuan fang kai shi yin mai
悲傷要怎麼平靜純白
bei shang yao zen me ping jing chun bai
我的臉上
wo de lian shang
始終挾帶
shi zhong jia dai
一抹淺淺的無奈
yi mo qian qian de wu nai
(梁心頤) 你用唇語說你要離開
(Lara) ni yong chun yu shuo ni yao li kai
(心不在)
(xin bu zai)
那難過無聲慢了下來
na nan guo wu sheng man le xia lai
洶湧潮水
xiong yong chao shui
你聽明白
ni ting ming bai
不是浪而是淚海
bu shi lang er shi lei hai
(合) 轉身離開
(Together) zhuan shen li kai
(你有話說不出來)
(ni you hua shuo bu chu lai)
分手說不出來
fen shou shuo bu chu lai
海鳥跟魚相愛
hai niao gen yu xiang ai
只是一場意外
zhi shi yi chang yi wai
我們的愛
wo men de ai
(給的愛)
(gei de ai)
差異一直存在
chai yi yi zhi cun zai
(回不來)
(hui bu lai)
風中塵埃
feng zhong chen ai
(等待)
(deng dai)
竟累積成傷害
jing lei ji cheng shang hai
(合) 轉身離開
(Together) zhuan shen li kai
(分手說不出來)
(fen shou shuo bu chu lai)
分手說不出來
fen shou shuo bu chu lai
蔚藍的珊瑚海
wei lan de shan hu hai
錯過瞬間蒼白
cuo guo shun jian cang bai
當初彼此
dang chu bi ci
(你我都)
(ni wo dou)
不夠成熟坦白
bu gou cheng shu tan bai
(不應該)
(bu ying gai)
熱情不再
re qing bu zai
(你的)
(ni de)
笑容勉強不來
xiao rong mian qiang bu lai
愛深埋珊瑚海
ai shen mai shan hu hai
(周杰倫) 毀壞的沙雕如何重來
(Jay) hui huai de sha diao ru he zhong lai
有裂痕的愛怎麼重蓋
you lie hen de ai zen me zhong gai
只是一切
zhi shi yi qie
結束太快
jie shu tai kuai
你說你無法釋懷
ni shuo ni wu fa shi huai
(梁心頤) 貝殼裡隱藏什麼期待
(Lara) bei ke li yin cang shen me qi dai
(等花兒開)
(deng hua er kai)
我們也已經無心再猜
wo men ye yi jing wu xin zai cai
面向海風
mian xiang hai feng
鹹鹹的愛
xian xian de ai
嘗不出還有未來
chang bu chu hai you wei lai
(合) 轉身離開
(Together) zhuan shen li kai
(你有話說不出來)
(ni you hua shuo bu chu lai)
分手說不出來
fen shou shuo bu chu lai
海鳥跟魚相愛
hai niao gen yu xiang ai
只是一場意外
zhi shi yi chang yi wai
我們的愛
wo men de ai
(給的愛)
(gei de ai)
差異一直存在
chai yi yi zhi cun zai
(回不來)
(hui bu lai)
風中塵埃
feng zhong chen ai
(等待)
(deng dai)
竟累積成傷害
jing lei ji cheng shang hai
(合) 轉身離開
(Together) zhuan shen li kai
(分手說不出來)
(fen shou shuo bu chu lai)
分手說不出來
fen shou shuo bu chu lai
蔚藍的珊瑚海
wei lan de shan hu hai
錯過瞬間蒼白
cuo guo shun jian cang bai
當初彼此
dang chu bi ci
(你我都)
(ni wo dou)
不夠成熟坦白
bu gou cheng shu tan bai
(不應該)
(bu ying gai)
熱情不再
re qing bu zai
(你的)
(ni de)
笑容勉強不來
xiao rong mian qiang bu lai
愛深埋珊瑚海
ai shen mai shan hu hai
I love Jay Chou.
I.Love.Him.So.Much.
珊瑚海
Shan Hu Hai
(周杰倫) 海平面遠方開始陰霾
(Jay) hai ping mian yuan fang kai shi yin mai
悲傷要怎麼平靜純白
bei shang yao zen me ping jing chun bai
我的臉上
wo de lian shang
始終挾帶
shi zhong jia dai
一抹淺淺的無奈
yi mo qian qian de wu nai
(梁心頤) 你用唇語說你要離開
(Lara) ni yong chun yu shuo ni yao li kai
(心不在)
(xin bu zai)
那難過無聲慢了下來
na nan guo wu sheng man le xia lai
洶湧潮水
xiong yong chao shui
你聽明白
ni ting ming bai
不是浪而是淚海
bu shi lang er shi lei hai
(合) 轉身離開
(Together) zhuan shen li kai
(你有話說不出來)
(ni you hua shuo bu chu lai)
分手說不出來
fen shou shuo bu chu lai
海鳥跟魚相愛
hai niao gen yu xiang ai
只是一場意外
zhi shi yi chang yi wai
我們的愛
wo men de ai
(給的愛)
(gei de ai)
差異一直存在
chai yi yi zhi cun zai
(回不來)
(hui bu lai)
風中塵埃
feng zhong chen ai
(等待)
(deng dai)
竟累積成傷害
jing lei ji cheng shang hai
(合) 轉身離開
(Together) zhuan shen li kai
(分手說不出來)
(fen shou shuo bu chu lai)
分手說不出來
fen shou shuo bu chu lai
蔚藍的珊瑚海
wei lan de shan hu hai
錯過瞬間蒼白
cuo guo shun jian cang bai
當初彼此
dang chu bi ci
(你我都)
(ni wo dou)
不夠成熟坦白
bu gou cheng shu tan bai
(不應該)
(bu ying gai)
熱情不再
re qing bu zai
(你的)
(ni de)
笑容勉強不來
xiao rong mian qiang bu lai
愛深埋珊瑚海
ai shen mai shan hu hai
(周杰倫) 毀壞的沙雕如何重來
(Jay) hui huai de sha diao ru he zhong lai
有裂痕的愛怎麼重蓋
you lie hen de ai zen me zhong gai
只是一切
zhi shi yi qie
結束太快
jie shu tai kuai
你說你無法釋懷
ni shuo ni wu fa shi huai
(梁心頤) 貝殼裡隱藏什麼期待
(Lara) bei ke li yin cang shen me qi dai
(等花兒開)
(deng hua er kai)
我們也已經無心再猜
wo men ye yi jing wu xin zai cai
面向海風
mian xiang hai feng
鹹鹹的愛
xian xian de ai
嘗不出還有未來
chang bu chu hai you wei lai
(合) 轉身離開
(Together) zhuan shen li kai
(你有話說不出來)
(ni you hua shuo bu chu lai)
分手說不出來
fen shou shuo bu chu lai
海鳥跟魚相愛
hai niao gen yu xiang ai
只是一場意外
zhi shi yi chang yi wai
我們的愛
wo men de ai
(給的愛)
(gei de ai)
差異一直存在
chai yi yi zhi cun zai
(回不來)
(hui bu lai)
風中塵埃
feng zhong chen ai
(等待)
(deng dai)
竟累積成傷害
jing lei ji cheng shang hai
(合) 轉身離開
(Together) zhuan shen li kai
(分手說不出來)
(fen shou shuo bu chu lai)
分手說不出來
fen shou shuo bu chu lai
蔚藍的珊瑚海
wei lan de shan hu hai
錯過瞬間蒼白
cuo guo shun jian cang bai
當初彼此
dang chu bi ci
(你我都)
(ni wo dou)
不夠成熟坦白
bu gou cheng shu tan bai
(不應該)
(bu ying gai)
熱情不再
re qing bu zai
(你的)
(ni de)
笑容勉強不來
xiao rong mian qiang bu lai
愛深埋珊瑚海
ai shen mai shan hu hai
July 21, 2006
Let me tell you the Egg Tart story. The production of 24 egg tarts is proudly brought to you by *ahem* =)
I didn't expect to receive such good reviews for my 1st attempt in baking egg tarts. Not at all. Oh well, keep the compliments coming then! =) I've been immensely inspired by the cake show! Im excited that i can now add on a new item to my 'succsessfully baked/cooked' list. *winks* Next, im gona attempt Apple Crumble.On hindsight,i had fire on my pants when i saw the egg custard bubbling above the tart shell in the oven. It was a worrisome sight. I mean the egg custard wass ballooning above the tart shell like a half-cut peach atop a pie. Then i realise the heat was excessively strong and by that time..i saw..
THIS!
..yes an accidental portugese egg tart. HA..i wish! It just looks like it. The crust is so wrong for a portugese egg tart! Then again, it is still very edible..just does not look aesthetically smooth like that of an SK II face.
And the most classic ones...
Blame the faulty oven. It's a..outrageously inferior one! Really. My oven cost like $50? Yet the product comes out reasonably good. So my skills must be extraordinarily remarkable? =) stop bragging . The oven's heating element is not evenly installed. It's really not a good oven. So , if the tart is placed at the wrong place in the oven, we get a black bottom tart. I know this sounds very domesticated but you know i wanted an oven for my birthday present. But ok, that was history. It's even more weird when i think about the secret birthday wish which manda and i shared when we were 16, studying for Olevels. =p rmb manda? ;)
Let's hear what these people have to say,
"It tastes like Polar's egg tart, the tart is not crumbly and soft." -Darren Cheng, 22
"Gao Sai, very nice!Where did you get the recipe? From the TV show?" -Joyce Lim,24
"Hao Chi..Hen Hao Chi..Wo Chi San Ge le" -Joan Tan, 52
Let's hear what these people have to say,
"It tastes like Polar's egg tart, the tart is not crumbly and soft." -Darren Cheng, 22
"Gao Sai, very nice!Where did you get the recipe? From the TV show?" -Joyce Lim,24
"Hao Chi..Hen Hao Chi..Wo Chi San Ge le" -Joan Tan, 52
July 19, 2006
Suddenly i think im quite amazing because i've only been to 17 lessons and i can parallel park. Which means, i've completed the whole booklet and my test is coming!! Oh my, today i did something horribly dumb. While i was parking, I hit the pole down and i accelerated into it STILL! i meant to step on the brake. Shit happens. I mean he was just trying to show me how much blind area there was in front of the car but hell the lot is not exactly tt big. My parking already so sui still wana ask me inch until 'you see 3 and a quarter stripes' . My judgement not that zhun la uncle. We are different height! You're a giant you know? Anyway i didn't like him cos he wasted my time and money by stopping at the kerb side to talk on the phone. KNS!
Alright so i've gotten my life back into shape. Somehow. Just that, last night when i was home early,the proportion was 1:20 for compliments to sacarsm. The art of getting used to it? Shut up and ignore. Even when i was watching my cake show, my dad had to come and make some stupid comment about how i don't watch drama seriels. Well i do, just not at 8pm. There are many repeat telecast, hello? Have i really lost my tolerance for their nonsense? Or have they become so obsolete in their thinking that i loathe talking to them? I mean, you're asking me to study during holidays? Im not in primary school whereby you can force feed assessment books into my throat. There isn't ANYTHING to study. Firstly, your daughter is no scholar. So please get that right. Then next you're telling me that my cousin does not come home past 10. All i can say is, So? Quit comparing because there's just so many things worth comparing, isn't it? Parents, We're in the 21st century. Keep up with the way the world changes. No one is gona change for you. Change is the only constant. Your advances to show me that you are concern is certainly sailing in the wrong direction. I hope they will chance upon my blog one day.
After visiting 2 doctors, my lips are recovering fast. Mrs Cheng brought me to the chinese physician 2days ago. Though i was abit apprehensive and scared cos she's abit fierce, the time out with her alone was actually more enjoyable than i thought. We talked about almost anything under the sun and found out that we both loved the Hakka Lei Cha dish. After the doctor, she told me that we were heading to Geylang to buy the famous Lei Cha. HA! Her level of impulsiveness is like mine! Indeed, the Lei cha was fantastic but obviously the rest of the Chengs looked at our food with utmost disgust as it was all green. That's the beauty of it! It was Veggie galore! The greener the better!
The itchiness is gone with the clouds and that brings mighty megawatt smiles for me. I can eat quite normally. wOO! Just yesterday, i was out with darr, wy and his gf. Wow, she eats so much i really envy her abilities. Im not kidding. Just hearing that Hui Yi and wy ate 3 Carl's Jr burger is a shock itself. I don't think i can go past 1 ! Also, Suntec has this new hidden area at a forsaken area that has plenty of eateries. I personally like that humongous pie that Hui Yi bought. It's yummy! Maybe it was the egg in it. =) I loved the Soon Kueh too. I STILL wana eat the sausages there ! I wana eat!
It's blading time. Later!
Alright so i've gotten my life back into shape. Somehow. Just that, last night when i was home early,the proportion was 1:20 for compliments to sacarsm. The art of getting used to it? Shut up and ignore. Even when i was watching my cake show, my dad had to come and make some stupid comment about how i don't watch drama seriels. Well i do, just not at 8pm. There are many repeat telecast, hello? Have i really lost my tolerance for their nonsense? Or have they become so obsolete in their thinking that i loathe talking to them? I mean, you're asking me to study during holidays? Im not in primary school whereby you can force feed assessment books into my throat. There isn't ANYTHING to study. Firstly, your daughter is no scholar. So please get that right. Then next you're telling me that my cousin does not come home past 10. All i can say is, So? Quit comparing because there's just so many things worth comparing, isn't it? Parents, We're in the 21st century. Keep up with the way the world changes. No one is gona change for you. Change is the only constant. Your advances to show me that you are concern is certainly sailing in the wrong direction. I hope they will chance upon my blog one day.
After visiting 2 doctors, my lips are recovering fast. Mrs Cheng brought me to the chinese physician 2days ago. Though i was abit apprehensive and scared cos she's abit fierce, the time out with her alone was actually more enjoyable than i thought. We talked about almost anything under the sun and found out that we both loved the Hakka Lei Cha dish. After the doctor, she told me that we were heading to Geylang to buy the famous Lei Cha. HA! Her level of impulsiveness is like mine! Indeed, the Lei cha was fantastic but obviously the rest of the Chengs looked at our food with utmost disgust as it was all green. That's the beauty of it! It was Veggie galore! The greener the better!
The itchiness is gone with the clouds and that brings mighty megawatt smiles for me. I can eat quite normally. wOO! Just yesterday, i was out with darr, wy and his gf. Wow, she eats so much i really envy her abilities. Im not kidding. Just hearing that Hui Yi and wy ate 3 Carl's Jr burger is a shock itself. I don't think i can go past 1 ! Also, Suntec has this new hidden area at a forsaken area that has plenty of eateries. I personally like that humongous pie that Hui Yi bought. It's yummy! Maybe it was the egg in it. =) I loved the Soon Kueh too. I STILL wana eat the sausages there ! I wana eat!
It's blading time. Later!
July 18, 2006
A happier transition
This was a week or so back before phae left for oz. Retro Rave party. Phae phae 'crowned' me the ultra retro chic! No, not cos i can dance like those chics on zouk's plattform. It's my costume! I loved it but nothing belonged to me. All darr's mum! Cool bananas. I would have been very happy to have a mother like her cos she owns super pretty accessories of all kinds suited for all occasion! Ok i just sounded so shallow. Seriously, her collection is one of a kind! She has those long gold chains with pretty charms that im dying to get but those in the market now are either too expensive or too ugly. She showed me her collection and my jaw literally dropped. Check out my hair too. She curled it for me and gave me an alice band with ribbon to finish off the look. =) Basically she kinda dolled me up in a matter of 1 hour. From..'i got nothing to wear' to what you see here.
Another night out with the girls to Wala. Wala has become smoke-free and it's worth condeming cos they go off leaving miss non smoker here. Finally got a spastic pose with phae that im proud of.
This was a week or so back before phae left for oz. Retro Rave party. Phae phae 'crowned' me the ultra retro chic! No, not cos i can dance like those chics on zouk's plattform. It's my costume! I loved it but nothing belonged to me. All darr's mum! Cool bananas. I would have been very happy to have a mother like her cos she owns super pretty accessories of all kinds suited for all occasion! Ok i just sounded so shallow. Seriously, her collection is one of a kind! She has those long gold chains with pretty charms that im dying to get but those in the market now are either too expensive or too ugly. She showed me her collection and my jaw literally dropped. Check out my hair too. She curled it for me and gave me an alice band with ribbon to finish off the look. =) Basically she kinda dolled me up in a matter of 1 hour. From..'i got nothing to wear' to what you see here.
Another night out with the girls to Wala. Wala has become smoke-free and it's worth condeming cos they go off leaving miss non smoker here. Finally got a spastic pose with phae that im proud of.
July 15, 2006
yes they'll be back soon 'nuff.
yes they're concerned.
Do i worth a 5cents text?
More. i just don't see it at this ___ point in time.
Goodnight Joanne.
Stop screaming for attention.
Life's a bitch, you knew that.
yes they're concerned.
Do i worth a 5cents text?
More. i just don't see it at this ___ point in time.
Goodnight Joanne.
Stop screaming for attention.
Life's a bitch, you knew that.
July 14, 2006
I have peri-oral inflammation. Whatever that is, it's irritating the living hell outta me.So i decided to visit a doctor on my own after work since im not on good terms with people at home nor was the next available person available. Well at least the ear to rant to about the itchiness/soreness/pain was Amanda Lee. My all time listener of all shit.
Fortunately, a colleague accompanied me to the 24hr clinic nearby our house. I didn't even know there was a 24hrs clinic nearby after living here for 10years. Well, thank god for friends who live nearby sometimes. Life hasn't been very nice to me this whole week. It's not very nice to know i can't eat properly because of this strange disease i have. Dr Teo says i have to cut my food up to small pieces no more than 2cm and not let food touch my lips. How to eat? What a good way to go on a liquid diet via straw. I mean eating involes a certain degree of your lips coming into contact with the food right?
Then i asked Dr Teo why the hell i got such a forsaken disease and he told me a few reasons which i couldn't relate to. He said this occurs due to sensitive skin( ok i know my beautiful skin is not as beautiful as it seems.) , pregnancy( oh yeah like i'll be pregnant), stress( am i so stressed during holidays?) and mid life transition(WHAT?) . I wanted to laugh at him just that i figured it was rude.
To think, i imagined it would have been a fantabulous friday facial day since i had a session at Pink Palour(i absolutely love this place!) just before work. Well it was, until my lips became a haunting disaster to my whole self.
Fortunately, a colleague accompanied me to the 24hr clinic nearby our house. I didn't even know there was a 24hrs clinic nearby after living here for 10years. Well, thank god for friends who live nearby sometimes. Life hasn't been very nice to me this whole week. It's not very nice to know i can't eat properly because of this strange disease i have. Dr Teo says i have to cut my food up to small pieces no more than 2cm and not let food touch my lips. How to eat? What a good way to go on a liquid diet via straw. I mean eating involes a certain degree of your lips coming into contact with the food right?
Then i asked Dr Teo why the hell i got such a forsaken disease and he told me a few reasons which i couldn't relate to. He said this occurs due to sensitive skin( ok i know my beautiful skin is not as beautiful as it seems.) , pregnancy( oh yeah like i'll be pregnant), stress( am i so stressed during holidays?) and mid life transition(WHAT?) . I wanted to laugh at him just that i figured it was rude.
To think, i imagined it would have been a fantabulous friday facial day since i had a session at Pink Palour(i absolutely love this place!) just before work. Well it was, until my lips became a haunting disaster to my whole self.
Its 2am and i haven't recieved goodnight kisses on my forehead for 4 nights in a row.
Its 2am and i wished that someone would text me goodnight but i know it won't happen tonight.
Its 2am and listening to 'Kiss Goodbye' makes me wana cry.
Its 2am and i really wish i could sleep but i can't.
Its 2am and i know noone will bother about what i have to say about my emotions these 2days.
Its 2am and i wished that someone would text me goodnight but i know it won't happen tonight.
Its 2am and listening to 'Kiss Goodbye' makes me wana cry.
Its 2am and i really wish i could sleep but i can't.
Its 2am and i know noone will bother about what i have to say about my emotions these 2days.
For today, i really have extreme feelings bout work.
Let's just talk about the happier part of the continum.
I met Ginny and Xinyu outside the condom shop area while rushing to work! Talked to them abit and had to rush off but the girls came to find me at paragon! When i saw them, i know i was very happy yet at the same time, i din know what to say. Firstly, it's the kinda feeling that i have SO much to say but i also wana consolidate my thoughts first? =) Xinyu wore a pretty purple top that i couldn't keep my eyes off but i just didnt tell her. Ginny is just this bitch that grew taller! I swear she grew vertically although she imagines it to be horizontally. Even on msn now, she's telling me about her weighing scale misfortune of tilting more to the right! Ironically, both of them kept insisting that i am skinny and look 40kg(while misshiya thinks i became chubby) Pls don't lie to ourselves. Im not advocating to be anorexic nor bulimic. Seriously, although i complain about myself, i still kinda like the way i am but im definitely not 40kg! Wake up your ideas girls! I know you gals mean i look more haggard than i did in JC la, not skinny! These 2 bimbos(yes they really claim to be!) think i look like i cannot play sports anymore cos i have long femanine hair.Excuse me, where's the logic? Ah well, we're all pretty in our own ways and i must remind all the girls in my life to STOP COMPLAINING about your flaws but embrace it! Seems like i need to tell myself that too =p
Ginny, you're not fat, understand?
Xinyu, you're not fat, understand?
Dolly and Manda came by after their interview. We're all officially fools for motorola. Ha.. i can't believe both of them knew the interviewers. Welcome to earning $200+ a weekend. =) And losing feel of your toes! Love the money, hate the job. Who doesn't? Especially working in M1. i CANNOT stand M1.
Anyhow, although i saw the person i wanted to see, i didn't feel satisfied.
Sometimes, PDA really sucks.
But today, i felt like i needed it the most.
Then jo msged and i really don know what to say to her.
Yet,wadeva i know i might want to do, i dowan to hurt another person.
One is enough.
I thought i just told Alvin that i'll just do what i wana do in future and stop thinking so much?
*arghs*
Why.
Jo, im really sorry for bringing your hopes on a roller coaster ride.
I still love you ok?
I know i should be more steady than to trash your hopes.I know i know.
But Jo, you'll understand right?
You know i really want, too.
Just that everything is against me at the moment.
Let's just talk about the happier part of the continum.
I met Ginny and Xinyu outside the condom shop area while rushing to work! Talked to them abit and had to rush off but the girls came to find me at paragon! When i saw them, i know i was very happy yet at the same time, i din know what to say. Firstly, it's the kinda feeling that i have SO much to say but i also wana consolidate my thoughts first? =) Xinyu wore a pretty purple top that i couldn't keep my eyes off but i just didnt tell her. Ginny is just this bitch that grew taller! I swear she grew vertically although she imagines it to be horizontally. Even on msn now, she's telling me about her weighing scale misfortune of tilting more to the right! Ironically, both of them kept insisting that i am skinny and look 40kg(while misshiya thinks i became chubby) Pls don't lie to ourselves. Im not advocating to be anorexic nor bulimic. Seriously, although i complain about myself, i still kinda like the way i am but im definitely not 40kg! Wake up your ideas girls! I know you gals mean i look more haggard than i did in JC la, not skinny! These 2 bimbos(yes they really claim to be!) think i look like i cannot play sports anymore cos i have long femanine hair.Excuse me, where's the logic? Ah well, we're all pretty in our own ways and i must remind all the girls in my life to STOP COMPLAINING about your flaws but embrace it! Seems like i need to tell myself that too =p
Ginny, you're not fat, understand?
Xinyu, you're not fat, understand?
Dolly and Manda came by after their interview. We're all officially fools for motorola. Ha.. i can't believe both of them knew the interviewers. Welcome to earning $200+ a weekend. =) And losing feel of your toes! Love the money, hate the job. Who doesn't? Especially working in M1. i CANNOT stand M1.
Anyhow, although i saw the person i wanted to see, i didn't feel satisfied.
Sometimes, PDA really sucks.
But today, i felt like i needed it the most.
Then jo msged and i really don know what to say to her.
Yet,wadeva i know i might want to do, i dowan to hurt another person.
One is enough.
I thought i just told Alvin that i'll just do what i wana do in future and stop thinking so much?
*arghs*
Why.
Jo, im really sorry for bringing your hopes on a roller coaster ride.
I still love you ok?
I know i should be more steady than to trash your hopes.I know i know.
But Jo, you'll understand right?
You know i really want, too.
Just that everything is against me at the moment.
July 13, 2006
My day ended so rowdy yesterday that i feel a need to justify the rest of the day which i had.
It was the phaephae bye bye day and then a part of me was upset. Although we've spent more time together the past month than we normally would have , it was the sense of loss? So we were there at the airport to see her off at unearthly 7am. Ah well, phae phae, i know the gu-niangs didn't make you anything fantastic but i sure hope our friendship isn't judged by the material things yea? Afterall, we've been your more than faithful Wednesday night company of retro rave @ Jiak kim St! =P
Yesterday was also probably the 2nd time in this whole holidays which i've woken up early enough to have breakfast, lunch and dinner. Otherwise, i wake up in time for lunch at 3 and dinner at 11 kinda thing.It was also probably one of those rare days i have breakfast with my friends! The enormous omelette breakfast at BK was a joy with manda and jo. I really love eggs! Afterwhich, the gals(includinng bernard) came over since it was still early! Wow, my house is as boring as it can get. Im sorry peeps. At least there was scv..my nail polish collection for manicure..tweezers for your every need..dia and ber fighting over the blood pressure machine(dia thinks her life is at stake.)..and both of them getting turned on by the vibrating slimming belt! (ooops) =)
KLunch @ cine was happiness too.i secretly love ktv! And hell after so long, i still cant sing solo cos im shylessly shy. Although we have had countless ktvs but yes, i can't bear to show off my lack of vocal talents. Jojo, you rock my world. I think you're the star ! Dia, you're a mariah carey who has long long breath. Manda..i see your potential but haha, you're as shy as me. Joyce..join us more!
Ah well..then it was the boring part of life. Work.
and i swear my ex-es/interests are haunting me.
so are indians(no offense).
It was the phaephae bye bye day and then a part of me was upset. Although we've spent more time together the past month than we normally would have , it was the sense of loss? So we were there at the airport to see her off at unearthly 7am. Ah well, phae phae, i know the gu-niangs didn't make you anything fantastic but i sure hope our friendship isn't judged by the material things yea? Afterall, we've been your more than faithful Wednesday night company of retro rave @ Jiak kim St! =P
Yesterday was also probably the 2nd time in this whole holidays which i've woken up early enough to have breakfast, lunch and dinner. Otherwise, i wake up in time for lunch at 3 and dinner at 11 kinda thing.It was also probably one of those rare days i have breakfast with my friends! The enormous omelette breakfast at BK was a joy with manda and jo. I really love eggs! Afterwhich, the gals(includinng bernard) came over since it was still early! Wow, my house is as boring as it can get. Im sorry peeps. At least there was scv..my nail polish collection for manicure..tweezers for your every need..dia and ber fighting over the blood pressure machine(dia thinks her life is at stake.)..and both of them getting turned on by the vibrating slimming belt! (ooops) =)
KLunch @ cine was happiness too.i secretly love ktv! And hell after so long, i still cant sing solo cos im shylessly shy. Although we have had countless ktvs but yes, i can't bear to show off my lack of vocal talents. Jojo, you rock my world. I think you're the star ! Dia, you're a mariah carey who has long long breath. Manda..i see your potential but haha, you're as shy as me. Joyce..join us more!
Ah well..then it was the boring part of life. Work.
and i swear my ex-es/interests are haunting me.
so are indians(no offense).
I woke up crumbling into someone i haven't been for eons. I don't know why i felt like the way i did, but i just did. Not long, i found myself lying on a damp pillow. I wanted to call someone but, i figured there wouldnt be a person on the other side of the line at that time of the day. Not when everyone was busy.Not when i do not provide any incentive for others to be a listening ear. Sigh. It was so heart wrenching. It is so difficult to be me 90% of the time. I had been thinking about this every now and then, that if i were to die in my house during the day, no one would discover till evening. Then again, do i really wana die over such things? whatta fuck right?
I dreamt of death by the way.
Seriously, this is only the beginning of today.
I dreamt of death by the way.
Seriously, this is only the beginning of today.
and i won't come home early, because i have a motive.
and i won't make time for sundays, cos i have a motive.
i'll work when u don't, and when u do i won't.
You've pushed me so far,
why not, im just full of motives ?
and i won't make time for sundays, cos i have a motive.
i'll work when u don't, and when u do i won't.
You've pushed me so far,
why not, im just full of motives ?
July 12, 2006
Seriously, don't fucking belittle my money and think i haf a fucking motive behind my every move.How does this feels when people look at you as though you have a motive behind all your fucking move? Fuck off. Even if i have to fucking be raped in thailand, i know you would rather that than to ever allow me to do something more radical than this. If i were to go on a trip with 5 guys of which none is my bf, you might probably think it is safer. Oh what the hell are you thinking?
You know, if i am a lesbian, you'll feel safer.
But you'll fucking throw me down the building.
So if i am straight, i cant fucking do the things tt pleases me.
Why don't i just never be alive?
If you think i am just being childish,
well it probably was caused by the way you treat me.
If you dont fucking treat me like a responsible young person,
I don't think i generally have to give you any fucking confidence that i am responsible.
So go on, fuck me up.
You know, if i am a lesbian, you'll feel safer.
But you'll fucking throw me down the building.
So if i am straight, i cant fucking do the things tt pleases me.
Why don't i just never be alive?
If you think i am just being childish,
well it probably was caused by the way you treat me.
If you dont fucking treat me like a responsible young person,
I don't think i generally have to give you any fucking confidence that i am responsible.
So go on, fuck me up.
July 11, 2006
It was abnormally frightening.
My thoughts ran excessively wild.
4 years ago, i could come home past 12 and feel powerful.
4 years later, Im just so afriad to come home.
Why the irony?
This fear of mine, is here to stay.
Im such a coward.
I really can't do without you, can i?
because when our hands meet at my corridor, im safe.
That, i know for a fact.
My thoughts ran excessively wild.
4 years ago, i could come home past 12 and feel powerful.
4 years later, Im just so afriad to come home.
Why the irony?
This fear of mine, is here to stay.
Im such a coward.
I really can't do without you, can i?
because when our hands meet at my corridor, im safe.
That, i know for a fact.
July 09, 2006
it is when you feel kinda ___
then you let your emotions over rule your radical soul.
*pause*
What was i thinking?
Today, i was toking to missshiya
I suddenly felt like Wow..for the moments i've enjoyed thus far.
Then i drowned in subconscious insecurity.
No, not the sort that involves my relationship.
Perhaps, a kind of unsettlement.
What about?
*pause*
I got myself all tied up with things that will happen not in the immediate future.
Like the tapestry of european history,
my thoughts are comaprably complex. (comparably?)
I didn't grow up learning there was a passport to life.
So we arrive, and we depart.
The chops that we get,
They become part of a collection of where we've been to, who we've loved.
Sometimes we need a visa too, especially venturing into those forbidden fruits of the earth.
Alright, so is there a visa to love?
Do we need permission to love?
Do we need a diplomatic relationship to be in love?
Well, probably if a visa for love were to be in place, we need all of the above.
As of now, it breaks a million hearts to know,
Im sorry, for loving you.
Im sounding so morbid because im just relating to the sappy love show on cable.
Sometimes, love just ain't enough.
What happens when you need someone more than they ever reciprocate?
*pause*
5days is so ridiculous.
A sem would be unthinkable.
With a year, i don't know.
One mans meat is another mans poison.
Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice inside the ceiling laugh.
woah..i feel like a proverb machine.
Because we look at everything so conditionally.
If we didn't, emotions would be unheard of.
then you let your emotions over rule your radical soul.
*pause*
What was i thinking?
Today, i was toking to missshiya
I suddenly felt like Wow..for the moments i've enjoyed thus far.
Then i drowned in subconscious insecurity.
No, not the sort that involves my relationship.
Perhaps, a kind of unsettlement.
What about?
*pause*
I got myself all tied up with things that will happen not in the immediate future.
Like the tapestry of european history,
my thoughts are comaprably complex. (comparably?)
I didn't grow up learning there was a passport to life.
So we arrive, and we depart.
The chops that we get,
They become part of a collection of where we've been to, who we've loved.
Sometimes we need a visa too, especially venturing into those forbidden fruits of the earth.
Alright, so is there a visa to love?
Do we need permission to love?
Do we need a diplomatic relationship to be in love?
Well, probably if a visa for love were to be in place, we need all of the above.
As of now, it breaks a million hearts to know,
Im sorry, for loving you.
Im sounding so morbid because im just relating to the sappy love show on cable.
Sometimes, love just ain't enough.
What happens when you need someone more than they ever reciprocate?
*pause*
5days is so ridiculous.
A sem would be unthinkable.
With a year, i don't know.
One mans meat is another mans poison.
Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice inside the ceiling laugh.
woah..i feel like a proverb machine.
Because we look at everything so conditionally.
If we didn't, emotions would be unheard of.
July 04, 2006
Indulge.. Pamper.. Enjoy! =) My dream of enjoying nail spa like a taitai has materialised! And it's not at some bugis village shop( ok im not trying to put them down) but its high and mighty New York style Nail boutique. Aaaahhhhh Exciting! Now i don't know when to spend the voucher my doll gave me. Im smiling like a retard. =D Seriously, i didn't quite expect anyone to have a EAR for detail especially when i talk about almost anything and everything ever so casually. We've walked passed Dashing Diva numerous times in our lives and i think i've only mentioned like ONCE that eh.." it's been a dream to go into this and do my nails. Looks so pretty!" . Oh and doll was trying ta be funny and told me this while we were cycling yesterday..
Cycling at ECP with doll, maymay & anu was quite extraordinary afterall. =)
To think i was apprehensive about meeting them initially cos i had a lazy idea to nua at home. But the day turned out to be something heartingly sweet. We decided to trigger happy while waiting for dad to come pick us up for dinner !
Doll: I've got something for you for 6 of 7
Me: What 6 of 7?
Doll: 6 of 7 la
Me: (kinda suspecting he meant 6th of July)
Doll: Yes so u want it today or on 6 of 7
Me: Erm...6th July den! We're cycling now..not appropriate?
Doll: No..more lomantic. We're cycling now what.(ok so cycling side by side and presenting a present to me is lomantic)
Me: HAHA..later !
Doll:( digging into his bag with one hand on the bike handle)
Me: eh careful!
Doll: woah...(bike was swinging unstably)
Me: iyah later la!
Doll:( stops the bike and take out)
Me: What's that?
Doll: Card la.. im not so rich. I even wrote in the card alrdy.
Me: Oh ok ( i was thinking..wow so cute la..and really i wasn't disappointed.)
Doll: nah..hope u like it.(cycles away)
Me: (stop the bike to read the card) Oh my! Its a pretty voucher from Dashing Diva!! ( cycled to chase him)
Me: What 6 of 7?
Doll: 6 of 7 la
Me: (kinda suspecting he meant 6th of July)
Doll: Yes so u want it today or on 6 of 7
Me: Erm...6th July den! We're cycling now..not appropriate?
Doll: No..more lomantic. We're cycling now what.(ok so cycling side by side and presenting a present to me is lomantic)
Me: HAHA..later !
Doll:( digging into his bag with one hand on the bike handle)
Me: eh careful!
Doll: woah...(bike was swinging unstably)
Me: iyah later la!
Doll:( stops the bike and take out)
Me: What's that?
Doll: Card la.. im not so rich. I even wrote in the card alrdy.
Me: Oh ok ( i was thinking..wow so cute la..and really i wasn't disappointed.)
Doll: nah..hope u like it.(cycles away)
Me: (stop the bike to read the card) Oh my! Its a pretty voucher from Dashing Diva!! ( cycled to chase him)
Cycling at ECP with doll, maymay & anu was quite extraordinary afterall. =)
To think i was apprehensive about meeting them initially cos i had a lazy idea to nua at home. But the day turned out to be something heartingly sweet. We decided to trigger happy while waiting for dad to come pick us up for dinner !
July 01, 2006
Alright so i thought , hey i enjoyed every moment spent at Le Carnival@ IJ primary to blading with my primary school friends till i'd finally came to the most disgusting discovery in a long time. That being, i lost my wallet. This discovery would have happened a lot later if not for the hot fudge Sundae. Now, i have a love-hate relationship with ice-cream. A replacement fee of $100 for my IC, $25 for PDL sounds ridiculous to me. Besides, i hold dear everyone else's photos in my wallet..my Mickey Mouse plaster and all the stamps i've accumulated from painstakingly studying at Spinellis NUS . I very much dislike the feeling of lost. It's abnormally grievous. The raw feeling of losing makes me wana subscribe to artificial reality. *pffffft* It's in times like this that i really lift everything to God and to ernestly hope i'll be returned the favour of returning the wallet i picked up 2 weeks ago. What goes around comes around, doesn't it? A lot of time, finders are not keepers. Seriously, does anyone feel very good using something that doesn't belong to you?! I know there are people who do so..ok..If only the world was as kind as i imagine. My boyfriend happens to think im insanely naive.
Let's just sit here and wait for my wallet to come back to me. Im being Hopeful, not Hopeless. For once, im actually being optimistic (and probably at the wrong things!)
Let's just sit here and wait for my wallet to come back to me. Im being Hopeful, not Hopeless. For once, im actually being optimistic (and probably at the wrong things!)
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