the echo loft

I should really be doing some justice to my studies.I am really panicky about a lot of things.Strangely, when i sit down to think, i do not exactly know what the heck i am actully worried about.It's not like we dont know that Joanne worries about everything.Literally. I suspect i am a gone-wrong perfectionist trying for salvation.Now let's just say that there isn't anything bad about being so competent and conscientious with work but stress related mental illness is unfortunately a new trend within my circle of friends/relatives.It is getting to me.

School has been bad/good/alright.I dont exactly know how to formulate my thoughts hence there are a few options.firstly, I met into 2 superbly unfortunate days in school in my past 2weeks.Mind you, in the past 2 weeks i only had 5 days of sch in totall.2/5 was suay.Walked into wrong Seminar Room.Forgot my HP.Sigh.

That was the academia side.Now moving on to *ahem* friends/guys/dates.As above, i have nothing fantastic to talk about this aspect. I was lamenting over the fact that i am so darn fat and unattractive that no one has dated me for more than 1.5yrs.Being in FASS doesnt help cos the whole fac is sorta like faculty of goodlookers so yeah.Im the minority.I was out with RX tt day and we came to a mutual concensus that we both are too iced for our own good.Someone told me i should stop pouting and start smiling. Sorry but im really not a descendent of Laughing Buddha.I am who i am and i take no form!I always seem like i care very little bout my romantic happiness.I probably do cos i haven found Mr Tall.I shall take my time and start panicking in Year 3 cos i would by then realise im queued in SDU.I've really forgotten how to love a person and i cant seem to reciprocate a feeling of affection. Have i really moved on ? I wonder.


That just sums up everything i have to say about my past 2weeks in school.

Posted by Joanne at 01:11 | Permalink

I looked back into realisation that i have actually probably and certainly runined some friendships.Things feel far from being right.What erraneous deed did i inflict upon thee.I treasure every friendship made regardless of its numerous motives behind each individual one.If there is,that is.
I didn't know why things turned out like they did.Blame me for not taking the obvious hints which i had absolutely no idea it was anything synonym to a hint.Laugh at me.

Im Sorry your heart was a casualty.

Posted by Joanne at 00:44 | Permalink

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK] You are Super-Cool! Woah! Step back - the future's so bright for you it's blinding me! You are the coolest of the cool. Everyone looks up to you as the benchmark for being coooool. The fonze was your grandfather. Any cooler and you'd freeze! WOO it's chilly in here. Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Mr. morecool ! see i did the test and this is what they told me. I laughed so hard i nearly cried when i saw the test results. Anyway, i did this test just to prove to Mr morecool i am as cool as him. Im aware tt im eluding myself but i guess boredom drives you crazy so im here to entertain myself as well as Mr morecool!

Posted by Joanne at 15:46 | Permalink

The rib of kitchen towel.Picture that.
Adorn it with a metallic blue NUS crest.
that's what you get at the end of paying $20 000++ for your university education at the end of 4 years.If its of any consolation, you get a huge huge piece of i-dont-know what size scroll.Quality if the scroll? Something i wouldn't consider a WORLD CLASS university to be using. Even my cambridge Alevel cert looks better.At least it is laminated.
Im sounding so damn cynical about my undergraduate studies even before my first lecture!Well i can't help it! I followed my sis to collect her scroll ytd and when i saw tt all she collected at the Registrar's office was that, i was disgusted. I still am and will always be.At least as i freshman, i get goodie bag and all the nonsense.But as a graduate, you get that.Of course that is just about everything you need.Or so we think? Wahtever.Suddenly it hit me that i should just get over and done with my bachelor.Then i should jus marry an old and dying man thus inheriting all his wealth?
School spells annoying. It feels like at the end of 4years, im only gona be brushing up my skills on auctioning/bidding and anticipating bids.Wow.One of those intangible skills you get in life.Hur hur. Maybe its just about the very depressing state of a FASS student? I should stop being so skeptical i know but im damn stressed with my last module so i cant help but start whining here and hoping for a miracle to happen.See it's the last week of hols, i should be out somewhere enjoying and not stressing about modules.Irritating!

Im in a badfriggingmood. I think i suck as a person.I suck as a catholic.I dont know why im alive.I cant believe i said all those but yes i think i need to go for self-improvement course.REally.Some episode tt happened recently made me question my worth of being who i am today , as a child belonging to my parents whom i think deserve much more than a silly daughter like me ; or perhaps for being your super irritating dogshit to my sister. I AM mean. My parents have double confirmed it and made me feel very guilty about it too.*shrugs*.I guess saying tt i am too young is just a badass excuse to get away from it.It's a childish senseless thought actully.I have my reasons for being mean.Again, this makes no sense.Afterall, it isn't necessary to spell out things in full all the time .People shuld learn to take hints.I personally think it's an important skill in life anyway.Especially when you deal with girls and a bitch like me.I only hint SO much.I just did it again.

Oh well. Im just moody and i really hope its because it's a girl's thing.The monthly problems you get,which i unfortunately dont get it too often?hah.nvm only my goodfrens will undstd my very system.They say tt a women gets cranky when she's outta love.Not yet a women i think.Im transforming i think. I hope tt by the end of this metamorphosis, i will emerge as a better person.Everyone shuld really pray for that or else you might one day realise that your good friend here is nothing but a fiend!

My bestfriend just told me she is depressed about life.I told her we share the same sentiments. I told her i wana go Europe, She told me she wana go Brazil.Bingo! I will save all my allowance?Starve myself beautiful for my next backpacking trip.Im a walking lard anyway.I can afford to starve.I really missed our days in europe nic.I wished i was kidnapped by the italian mafias to sell drugs tt time.Then at least we can pretend to sell drugs and continued staying in europe!
My guess is that sch's stressing her plus not being able to see her marcus lovely.Im kinda visualisng that situation with me in it..and i rather not be stressing with a relationship now.No,that's not a hint.It's a thought. But it's a hint which i thought about..wth am i driving at?

After so much of self degradation & pathetic talks about life, i believe i am still your sexy 19 yr old!

I am merely moody.

Posted by Joanne at 13:53 | Permalink