the echo loft

Matthew needs all the academic help he can possibly get.I feel so sorry for him because i can only do this much to teach him.*shrugs* His promotion would depend on the forthcoming test he's gona be sitting for this monday.My help came too late,too little.I repeat,I can only do this much.*sighs* I devoted 1.5hrs to teach him how to complete the square!That was only part one of the whole chapter in Quadratic Equations.I have 7chapters to go through with him for tomorrow.he totally has no clue in performing any form of mathematical skills in trigo,inequalities or angle properties of circles,statistics,numbers and patterns..and what have you.In short,im gona be teaching him 7 new chapters tmr.These things are NEW to him.His re-test is on monday.Even if i were paid like $100 per hour,i cannot guarantee his promotion.He is simply clueless in maths.come on,how could he have argued with me that the addition of 2 negative numbers is positive?!He doesn't even know what is a constant.He doesn't even know how to work out something like 4(x+6(x+9).It's not that he forgot.He JUST doesn't know.How?im lost.But i really feel so sorry and i want to help him.*sighs* I now know what it means that not everyone is the study sort of material.no offense.It's not like i am damn smart or cut up for a phd but certain things are just so tragic.*sighs* It's difficult to teach someone like him and although the amount im paid for this is way below the norm,i guess im not too bothered by that cos all i genuinely ask for is that he passes the retest.Be it by miracles or might.god bless matthew.Let's pray for him.

4 lovelys went for the Seletar Engineer Officer Mass(SEOM) Lighthouse Moonlight Cruise today.Army always has a strange way of doing things.What's with bringing girls or you have more duties to do.Makes no sense to me because they never give a thought to how the girl might feel.Do you know how boring it is to sit through a function which is nothing but giving out lucky draw prizes and voting dumbass nominees for the GOLDEN BUAYA AWARDS?! what the hell.Even the name of the award is a turn off!Besides,i was suffering from motion sickness cos the waters were choppy.Imagine having your buffet dinner and feeling as though you'll just puke any moment owing to the excessive swaying of the cruise.*rolls eyes* SAF is brainless.Wana invite pretty girls to function?Do organise with more brains please!There were not enough chairs!i had to sit on i-don-even-know whats tt.Grrr.to think i was pretty much looking forward to cruising when yang yi invited.It was a good thing he brought 4 girls with him instead of 1. Hahas..my frens all come in a package.We've came to a conclusion that being our guy friend is damn erm..poor thing?=P Seriously,ever heard of bringing 4 dates(aka babes) to your army function?=P oh well.So yang yi,im waiting for the $500 you promised us!oh yes,he's paying us $500 each for gracing the occassion! =)

now,ive gotta get some eye shut for my 4hr tuition tmr.Its subjected to extension.*gasp*

Posted by Joanne at 01:35 | Permalink

This blog deserves a happier post.
The day was cool although i was superbly tired owing to the lack of sleep.I had better catch up with my beauty sleep before my complexion becomes thrashy.That's the last thing i want.duh.Sleeping late intoxicates my body and makes me hungry.That's a total unhealthy way of living.Gawd,time to do justice to my biological clock(i've been saying this since forever and ever amen.).

That aside.i was over at NUS to celeb Mr Lee's 23rd bday.Lunch was at Genki sushi.Im awed by the fact that NUS has genki sushi.Im sounding really silly to be amazed by tt eh,just that im but only 18 and wadeva tt is in association with the UNIVERSITY thrills me.I can hardly wait to go uni!I miss furiously copying notes during lectures.I miss decorating my lecture notes and writing lyrics on them.I miss playing bingo on my notes. =) I miss sitting in lecture hall and erm discreetly looking out for erm goodlooking girls(have i told you i look at girls more than i look at guys?)I miss sleeping thru lectures and being called out.(hahs wad a dumb thing to miss but yea.) i miss school fullstop.

ok back to Mr Lee's bday celeb.I have to start organising my thoughts.Ive been writing wadeva that strikes my mind.Bad.
Well genki sucks as usual.I always believed sushi tei is the best.Genki is expensive plus the food is horribly done.Sushi tei always serve crispy seaweed.The one is genki is so soft n nuar.Gross beyond gross.Jap food is expensive as always and not filling for someone like me who feeds on cows.Well we sneaked into mr lee's hostel to deco his whatasuperboringlooking room and at the same time it was meant to be a surprise for him with us hiding in his room while he was attending lessons.Most unfortunately mr lee already suspected that something was fishy thanks to ahem..Jerry Lim?haha.Oh well,what's new right?Jerry...=P

Chinatown-ning was next for me.yahoo~ i love chinatown.Im very set on hanging out in chinatown for the next week till cny!Call me a cheena toot cos i care noT.Im proud to be a chinese and i love cny!hahas.Maybe im exaggerating but yes chinatown is a perfect place to be at with all the yummy food.Besides, that place is overloaded with the spirit of cny.I wana hang out at singapore river hongbao when it opens too! =) Not that town is boring but jus tt for a change i need something more happeningz!*grins*Alright,went with gtk and dia.Super satisfied with the frog legs and raw fish i had for dinner as well as my century egg porridge.*winks* My love for food..*beams*

gotta turn in for tuition tmr.
First student.
Anticipation.

Posted by Joanne at 01:48 | Permalink

I saw him after 1 year.im happy for that,yet behind all that,it's a very much broken heart which i bear.*shrugs*.When i spotted him,it was like striking the first prize in lottery or toto,whichever is more exclusive.I don't know how im feeling currently.My thoughts are so random and i just cant seem to confide in any of my bimbos much as i want to.Auntie will scold me.Queen will be very comforting but i knoe tts only cos she doesnt noe wad else to say to me.Spastic will tell me to fuck care him.Vainpot..dun see her often enough to whine.
So i was the one who wanted to go mambo and i ended up sitting through the whole night.Part of me was sick,the other was just simply understandable.I wouldn't have noticed him if not for the shirt he was wearing since i happen to have the EXACT same shirt.It was purely coincidental,not a couple outfit which we previously owned.oh man.How cool is that.Besides,im damn sure i own it before he did.First,i saw the shirt,then the way that person walked coupled with His lanky silhouette.By then i could almost 80% guess it was him.When i saw the face,my heart literally sparked.No friggin' idea why im sounding like i jus fell in love but yes..it sparked and subsequently it pounded so fast,im glad it didn't collapse or something.*sighs*
Know what?i really missed him.let's just say i don't miss him romantically but i just miss him.It's hard to put across this feeling.Probably i miss his nonsense and basically,him.Decipher that for yourself cos its unexplainable.i miss him and i mean every part of it.I dont care how desperate im sounding cos the whole damn night ive been wanting to express it but i couldn't and i wouldn't.I probably will never too.Am i even making sense?*sighs*
Im friggin' desperate.I don't know what im doing and why im behaving like i've lost all my pride for someone who has,by the way,moved on and is attached.I rejected my frens when they wanted to go over to phuture.My excuse was that i wana mambo but hell was that a lie.I wanted to be seated where i was cos it gave me a perfect view of him.Im sucha lousy fren,how could i have rejected my lovely amanda for someone who probably dun even gif half a shit abt me.Joanne,you're really pathetic.And yes i even frequent the toilet just so i could pass by his table.I needed the toilet since i was having a diahorrea.Then again,out of the 3 times i went,i suppose only once was to settle my stomach.Fark.What the fark am i doing.
Honestly,all i wanted was to go over to him and ask him how he was.Whenever manda spoke to him,it was really to create chances for me.Yet,my words just couldn't form when he stood right before me.I hate myself for being sucha wimp.I wished i was more impulsive like you manda,but you know i will never be impulsive.This heart can never mend.Even if i were impulsive..even if..oh wtf..maybe i should have been.*sighs*

Before i left,i even scanned the dance floor for him.He is one prominent figure especially with that cap.I took a last glance at him and my heart sank once again.I was gona leave after that last peep,or so i thought.guess what?i didn't. I ran to manda,who was already near the exit, n told her something so stupid i cant believe i said it."Manda,can we go take one very last look?" yes yes im desperate.

Someone Tell me why im feeling so crappy?Its been 9 mths.In the past 9 mths,i've occasionally been feeling lousy whenever he crossed my mind.I always wished i could somehow relive those moments no matter how bad they were.After a while,i'll snap back into reality.I think im subconsciusly crazy.I loved him however great differences we had and however thrashy i always feel falling behind his expectations of a girl.Im down to earth and i think too much.For him,he takes things as it comes.I think for the future but im not sure about him.i suppose he didn't but i still accepted that fact.Even if he did,i know it wasn't along my frequency.I accepted that.I could almost do anything and everything.Sometimes,it makes me wonder why one can be so blinded by love.im the biggest fool in this game then.why?*shrugs*

Im so ashamed of myself.Ive lost all my pride as a person today.Totally drained of pride and ..more pride.I never knew i was like that.Honsetly,im disgusted with myself yet it was in any case uncontrollable.I cannot understand my own actions sometimes.Im one confused girl.Im struggling,i really am.

Dont get me wrong.It's not that im hoping for a rekindling of love.Let's just blame it on the fact that i haven seen him for SO long,365 days or more.Let's just say that he's already attached,chances of me seeing him is like zero.Let's just say that it's always harder to forget your first love.Let's just say that it's stubborn love.
If YOU* happen to read this entry,take it as im so relieved i saw you.Im happy for you that you've moved on,really.I just need more time and yeah pardon my crap.So friggin cliche but i really mean it.Like yeah i have moved on,just inching i guess.Ahh..wadeva.

you've really stole my heart away.I hate myself for loving you.

Posted by Joanne at 02:52 | Permalink

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...


I cannot help but feel nostalgic.Its past 3am.
You stole my heart away.

Posted by Joanne at 03:29 | Permalink

PREGNANT OR PUBERTY?

I need help!Im not joking!I really cannot stop eating.I jus finished half a box of ba kwa.Help! Something is very wrong with me.Either im going thru delayed puberty or im pregnant.I choose to think it's none of the above.If the reason is the former,its really traumatizing since im still none the more erm voluptuous seeing that i have a chest the equivalent of the airport's runway.If its the latter..then i must have been raped in my sleep.

Im disturbed.Im not anorexic i swear.Im not bingeing either.I dont want to be suffering from overeating.Distressed.

Posted by Joanne at 23:49 | Permalink

Happiness building upon happiness

Retail Therapy smacked me outta my lamentations over my boring job.Currently this girl is feeling very happy although it's gonna be really short lived seeing that she'll be back into reality --- monday blues in say 12hours time.*bleahx*
Yesterday was a guilt free(or so i think) shopping experience! I have always loved shopping with Mr and Mrs Meatloaf because nothing comes outta my burnt wallet(it's burnt,so nth much can flow outta it.My cashflow problem is perpetually unresolved).Mrs meatloaf and i went for facial in the morning and i felt revitalised all over again!Facial is such a feel-good factor,like duh!My beauty therapist didn't complain about the condition of my face,which is good news =).Then again,im as lazy as i can get,if i can stop washing my face for like almost a month,i don't see why my face can remain immaculately spotless eh.Gross i know,that's erm..me?

The later part of the day was the ideal life i would love to lead..SHOP without guilt.heh.Mr and Mrs meatloaf generously bought loads and loads of everything for *ahem* me,its the chinese new year spirit building up i suppose.New super cute bedsheets from Aussino,New PJs,New make up kit,New clotheS,New earringS,new...you name it,i have it(i think)!Im so in love with my new pair of MNG jeans.It's out of stock already.=)This season's clothes is looking pretty good.hahas.ok stop being a brag Joanne.Well,nothing much,just that i haven gone on such a fruitful shopping trip for eons.Besides,i have to make up for the lack of it last xmas since i wasnt in singapore!

*BEAMS BEAMS* ok, i needed to convey my happiness somehow.So here it is.I foresee more of it just so it's the festive season.Nonetheless,i had better constantly remind myself to buy only what i need,not want.(like real)but yes,i've been rather thrifty eversince i started working..more or less?
I need to get my act together to combat my cashflow issues for real.

Posted by Joanne at 01:19 | Permalink

My job spells B O R I N G! The thought of it being my job is sickening much less embarrassing.Don't ask me why i even agreed to the job.Tell me im silly but hell it doens't matter now.Okays im gon continue ranting about my horrible FIRST DAY of work.
Firstly,i do not understand why i have to go thru a thrash load of security checks when im only a temp staff and it's not like the security checkpoint is easily acessible.It hurts to walk so much especially when you've been standing for half the day.It HURTS!Afterall i have delicate physical features,or so i think =).All Hail and Honour to the almighty Joanne Lim.(Make her feel good about herself since she's very much deprived of it.)
Secondly,i figured that working life is as evil as it can get.There's a lot of politics and backstabbers.It's only my 1st day of work and the aunties(sales promoters) were telling me who's a black sheep,who's not to be trusted etc.The ole innocent me acted purely pretentious and innocent the whole while to save myself from fire.I don wana get into all these auntie shit.Aunties are dangerous pple,though not all but you will be surprised!I could hardly believe my ears when i heard that one of the Aunties actually backstabbed a 16yr old promoter.Come on,she's 16!Probably your very own daughter's age!oh gross.Even if i had to snatch your bowl of rice,i wouldn't want to snatch a frigging promoter job.Sorry but..thats way way distasteful isn't it.*shrugs*

Posted by Joanne at 01:29 | Permalink

Another 80 pineapple tarts! My house is transforming into a makeshift bakery and im lovin' it.I've designed a new SECRET recipe of my own.It's tasting good gooder and gooder and im talking like a chao ah lian who failed english.Well,it's definitely not rock hard now, certainly not oval in shape..hahas.Its semi perfect,i'll perfect ot on my off days next week!Soon,i'll be ready to announce my new found profession. =)

my day started way too early, 9am.Miss Diana soh woke me up to tell me she doesn't wana go for interview.Sigh,destruct my beauty sleep.*rolls eyes*. the next 4 hrs was spent waiting fruitlessly, *ahem* cos of Ms Lee, for our day's programme to be planned out.From going to Big Splash to running in macritchie,all plans failed. why am i not surprised?We belong to NATO.Always want to exercise but ..with a capital BUT..

Baking saved my day..most of it.My evening was suppose to be kindly put aside for Mercy Relief..which i unfortunately didn't cos Auntie Nic called and told me she would drive me to the club for gym and a swim.That sounded like a fabulous idea which i instantly agreed upon and so i put aside my most needed help at Mercy Relief.Im guilt struck but..damn i need to sweat it out.

I get this feeling i'll be aching all over on my first day of work(which is in 9 hrs time).The Weights felt heavier than ever and running on the treadmill felt like i was sending myself to hell.Nonetheless,its over now thankfully. i promise i'll stop eating so much so that i wont feel so heavy while i run.(hur hur..u think u can?)ahh...who the hell hates eating anyway.So i thought i could perform a biatholon or the equivalent but the water was against me as well .2 laps and i felt as though my arms were gon drop off my shoulders.Talked to auntie nic and soon found myself dwelling into the past issues which i hate and wished it never happened..*sighs*
Issues which i hate..why?well..i don't know what i did to deserve such a lousy breakoff.*shrugs* Love...not.

Posted by Joanne at 01:20 | Permalink

happy 19th bimbo vainpottie


Dinner at Essential O'tea in Holland.V was pretty friendly to my petering out wallet.It was quite a nice dining concept,something similar to what i experienced in cambodia's Moloppor Cafe. =) Take off your shoes and sit down to dine.Somewhat like a hybrid of jap style dining albiet the food served was western.Nice nice. Cheap and portion was big enough for my appetite.I know we are all gluttons secretly but controlling it for the sake of...!rights bimbos?Nevermind,we'll help each other to combat this issue.Dificult though. =)

Chilling out at Wala Wala was good stuff.Superb liveband,first rated music and of course an EXCELLENT company definitely A*star-ed the night!We never fail to entertain each other nor seem to run out of things to laugh about.Something is very wrong yet right with us,but i like it! =) Like i told you chics,i don't even feel a need to be attached because y'all really make me feel so loved already!hahas.I think if i ever get attached,he's gotta be quite a sad man cos i need to spend 80% of my time with my chics!heehee.oh well.I love y'all!

After Wala Wala-ing we went ChinaBar.How ironic that it's CHINAbar but quite a bit of malays hang out there.Im not saying that im racist.Just quite strange..hmmm,it's Jo's birthday so i needed to make it the best for her,since she was lost and is now found!haha.She has returned to her roots finally.=) Honestly,i was damn shag already and had wanted to go home from holland..nonetheless,its wrong to let my Vainpottie down so...

awwwwww The cake was sinfully yummy..my throat shall never recover AMEN.We had a chocolate attack..chocolate overload literally.AHHHH!! Fattening but oh damn it didn't occur to me when i was savouring it!Sweet secrets rawks rawks rawks and yes they rawk.heh..chocolate turns me on lalalala..

Posted by Joanne at 04:22 | Permalink

So i baked 100 pineapple tarts today.Of which only about half were edible and the rest were almost edible.Almost because it's not uncooked , merely overcooked so it was concrete hard and might break a tooth or something.No worries,no one tried those really charred ones besides myself since i couldn't bare to throw them away.My hard work after all!Even mummy couldn't bare to throw it away.She left it on the dining table as a showcase for my dad to see when he comes home!As a matter of fact,she does not bake nor is good with anything associated with the kitchen,so i think she was very proud of me.=) I smiled when she came home,opened the door and took a deep breath telling me how nice my tarts smelled..albiet its taste was a contrast.

FIRST BATCH OF TARTS(20pieces)-> Bollocks! Too hard to even take a first bite(i still ate it cos wastage is a sin esp when I baked it!)hahas.

SECOND BATCH OF TARTS(30pieces)-> It looked presentable,tasted good when hot but it was sadness when cooled.Pretty hard.STILL edible.Getting better!

THIRD BATCH OF TARTS(50pieces)-> Joanne has wisen up and baked it for 18mins instead of the instructed 25mins! They tasted a lot better than the 2nd BUT it was still hard.Sighs.I had No choice but to serve them to my fellow YEP mates since i kinda promised them some tarts.=)

So my dear FORTUNATE lot of YEP pple who got to try it,how was it?Comments?or rather compliments?hehe.Much as i know you guys are kind souls with a BIG heart,don be too generous with your feedback k?I know it wasnt fantastic.Afterall,im still at my infantry stage of baking eh.
Oh i baked brownies as well.That's a simple one which i personally felt that it wasn't as good as those i baked before.Well,the brownies tasted heavenly to you guys only because it masked the effects of my pineapple tarts rite?*grins* Well well,im STILL proud of myself.i am as Skilled as i look =)

Posted by Joanne at 03:14 | Permalink

Happy 19th Auntie Nic!

Auntie Nic its your birthday
God bless you this day
To give me the gift of an auntie friend
And Im proud of you today!

I wish you love and goodwill
I wish you peace and joy
I wish you better than your heart desire
I wish we will double up and fulfill our EUROPE DREAM!

Posted by Joanne at 21:47 | Permalink

AUNTIE NICOLE TURNS 19

Surprises surprises surprises.Nic's a fool with no damn clue!haha.Or rather we're simply good at this!We hid in her attic for 3hrs decorating it with streamers and balloons balloons and more of it as well as Painting banners.Not forgetting the difficult task of frantically lying to nicole on my handphone about my whereabouts.My heart nearly stopped when she said she was 10 steps away from her gate..nonetheless,she's simply no game for us.We surprised her!She was totally caught unaware and all dressed up to go clubbing thinking that we would meet her at cocoa latte later in the night.But what happened?we appeared in front of her in our pyjamas,looking silly and mad.=) Nic that blur cock.hee.We had a feast over there and just lingered there the whole night.Well,im not gon narrate the night cos it'll definitely seem fun to the blogger but dull to the reader.To cut the long story short,We *ahem* took a night walk from gardens to lorong ah soo..Romantic enough?hmm..i suppose?But well..i needed to keep fit and lose weight..hur hur..it was a one hour walk!

Posted by Joanne at 04:07 | Permalink

Voluntary work has never felt so laborious.Helping out at the Mercy Relief collection centre(i think tts wad u call it) yesterday was a mixture of fun and bore.Well at least this time it really feels as though i've been useful and finally broken a sweat while volunteering!Im only saying this because my service given to cambodia was minimal,if any tt is!hahas.Hmmm While sorting out the clothes to be packed into different boxes,guilt struck me.As a typical singaporean who always rushes to MANGO sale,it just occured to me if i really need so much clothes unnecessarily?i get this feeling that i buy only cos its cheap and for the heck of fun digging into piles of clothes with my other singaporeans who probably share the same sentiments.What a way to stereotype singaporeans but wad the heck right.Still,i secretly am very patriotic and i love to be a singaporean.=P

The clothes that i was sorting out were somewhat gross.They felt damp and were terribly crumpled.Some even had menstrual stains on it,coupled with that fact it was stained on white fabric.Seriously,i think tt was quite unethical of the donor.Heard of humanity?im pretty sure some donors have zero of that.oh wells.Packing of foodstuffs was much more enjoyable especially when i spotted my all time favourite biscuit-LUXURY!hahas. Luxury biscuit really comes in handy in times of need.
i should be going down to help again tho i foresee myself to be a bee the next 2 days.

Posted by Joanne at 01:06 | Permalink

I LOVEMY BIMBOS
Wild Wild Wet drove me no wilder.I would only rate it 5 on a scale of 10.The slides were Not thrilling enough to scare the living shit outta me.The rides were quite fun though(rides being those tt require some kinda tubes/floats).one of the ride is called SLIDE UP and i thought that was scaredabit.3 parts nervous and 1 part scared tt is.It works on the principles of free fall!READ:FREE FALL! Apparently my 2 dried twig,stick thin babes flew up in mid air while on the ride cos they were too light.The same didn't happen to me obviously.Being fat can be quite advantageous in this case.hee.i swear that ride was traumatizing.So who's the bravest today?None other than the Queen bimbo.Retarded and Spastic bimbo were too much of a whimp for Ms Queen.Ms queen took the ride twice.

Like what bimbos always do..trigger happy-ing is one of the highlight.It's a pity we kept snapping in the toilet and not outside cos the camera was in the locker until we were about to wash up.our pictures are pretty laughable and my mum thinks tt we might be put on a feeding programme if it were to be submitted to UN.Maybe she's lying about her own daughter but as for her daughter's frens,it might jus happen.Well she thinks we look worse than malnourished kids.The fact that we have no boobs further upsets our whole physical make-up.Mummy thinks that we look ugly being flat chested and wonders where in the hell we have the courage to flaunt it in our bikinis..What's with having fuller boobs besides making you hotter and erm..more lust-worthy?It' not like i have a choice to br born with a chest equivalent to the airport's runway?WADEVA.Tragedy?i never thought so.

oh yes.i cant stop eating the moment i got home.i had loads of peanut snacks bought across the causeway.Tell me how am i ever gona be lean?


Ms Queen and Ms Spas

Dia loves singing..tts a shower head though.

New bikinis =)

Posted by Joanne at 01:12 | Permalink