THINKING ALOUD
It's self discovery and reflection time much as it's not the most conducive environment i am in,blasting my music and gossiping on msn.oh wells.what about my recently so-called completed missionary work?It has gotten into me that im
perhaps a much beter person now that i've been there and done that.well pple can jus be sceptical and think that its a cliche to say that,it happens anyway.I beg to differ and believe that the innocence and love i saw through the eyes of those orphans was a sort of unaccountable feeling.A mixture of pitifulness and envy actually.Pretty irrational i know.Then again,i pity them because these children probably do not even know about the tangibilities of their own life.A life which is Higlhy strung on breakable threads.The threats of being a HIV positive.*shrugs* Like we all know it,what you dont know won't hurt you.I guess the validity of this saying holds true although it robs the ignorant pple of their share of truth.Life goes on.Life is the way it is,unfair.The purpose of this mission which i was
SUPPOSE to be useful was to help in the construction of a fence.In all honesty,the job was nothing too difficult and it didn't require some 27 pple to construct.I can truthfully say that i wasn't of much help and most of the time,what i contributed was probably uncalled for jobs assigned such that im kept occupied.Or so i think.Maybe i've been brought up in a country whereby efficiency and quality matters which has resulted in me having a mentality that i have to feel accomplished after every work done.Over and above that,the work MUST be well done.To them,my contribution has probably brought a long way but it's just that i feel that i could have done more,done better.
It dawned upon me how happiness is measured every night during the trip as i was writing my journal.I've come to realise that its a relative concept which we must learn to accept and be happy with!A child in cambodia finds happiness in messing up my hair and requested i give him my rubber band to wear round his wrist whilst my little cousin in singapore fights over the playstation.give him a rubber band and he will sneer at you.see what i mean?A child in cambodia eats rice with only one dish but back here,we probably won't even eat if that's the case.Im guilty of that myself.What's happiness and how do we define it?
Ideals are talked of and it is said that a day will come when everyone will have nutritious food to eat, clothes to put on according to variations of seasons and modern residence with all scientific facilities and then all will be happy.
We do not want to discuss whether such conditions will prevail or not. Our question is, if after having all these comforts, life will be happy. If yes, people having all these comforts, should be happy even now. The countries touching the limitations of all these comforts must, then, have all happy and quiet people. We, however, find that all on this earth are disturbed, impatient, unhappy, afraid and worried. It is, therefore necessary to consider seriously what happiness really is at this point in time.oh well.
Aside from that,the course of the 3 weeks in cambodia is a hella fun as well.Being the youngest of the lot,i had this lingering inferiority complex within me.Many question formlated in my head when i was on my way to changi airport on the 6th of dec.From "oh shit how am i gona fit myself into a group of undergrads" to "oh shit if i say something i think no one will care." i was paranoid.When i was upgraded to a business class seat,i wasn't exactly the happiest person!i knoe im mad.But i was the only one in the group!so i felt that i might lose them or something.Im jus a silly arsehole in many instances.How could i possibly lose them in the plane right?*chuckles* im timid!Nvm.all's well.Business class service made me feel better and i soon forgot about my worries.That was day one.Don't worry,im not here to narrate my 20 days dutifully.I just thought that it'll be interesting to pen tt down cos everyone thought it was great to be in business class while this idiot here was actually apprehensive about the issue!
Fabulous is the word i'll use to describe the friends i made.My marketing team rocks.You guys thought me how to cook and differentiate between fried garlic and fried onions!ahahs.I've never stood in a kitchen longer than i did during the trip.I never thought i could contribute to the cooking!(more or less i cooked right my fellow group members?)*winks* So i learned how to cook chicken curry and oyster sauce noodles!I never knew you could cook noodles with oyster sauce.Im a kitchen handicap.Well,i think i've upgraded myself to a semi-handicap now.heh.Like i said,i was the youngest but age barriers soon blurred cos i realised i could communicate with them all.We soon found common interests and topic.Some of the highlights were Cambodian ah lians and some others are just gossips and plain rubbish which were nonetheless entertaining.Well i cant possible be very close to everyone in the group so the few whom i think i can relate to better,im really grateful.Mu roomates!oh boy,im missing you 2 pple already.Trust me,your gossips are the best deals i can ever get!Derlyn,if you are reading this,i love you!haha.We are from the STRAWBERRY fanclub and "eh sook" protagonists.heeheehee.code words are fun sometimes!okays stop being mean joanne.
it's time i make some shout outs to the pple i've met and impacted my 20days.
[Derlyn] You rawk girl!I will never be short on laughter when we talk.kudos to your culinary skills.You are every man's dream housewife!You call it domestic engineering rite?Maybe "eh sook" is seriously considering to take your hand in marriage.hahas.well,im glad to have you as my roomie,sharing our biscuits and thank you for your munchies!I'll never forget how we shared the contact lens box as well.Oh man,you've really been thru the worst things with me!We even shared contact lens box!how very unhygenic..then again,thank you dear!
[Dew]Having you as my SP was by far the hardest thing alive!Firstly,you're a whiner!Secondly,i could never get you a present cos you were always around when we are shopping.Tell me im a genius to have even gotten you the tshirt you like!Do you knoe how much trouble i went thru!All you yearned for was cambodian ah lians and more of it!wah lau!You are a girl in disguise!BUT,it was fun to have you around.I'll always rmb you as the whiner and the butcher cos you are best at mincing pork!ohs,xiao ming and xiao qiang ..how are they? hahas *grins*
[Lena]hmmm,you'll always be remembered as the indian dancing princess.You looked great in the indian costume!you do not contribute to our pool of gossips alot but im amused by your sleeping powers!haha.How cananyone fall asleep in the midst of a gossiping session!
[Eugene] Nice chatting partner over there.Loves to tell me i "hiam" too much.It was a joy to know we share the same faith as well!
[Ella] It was comforting to haf you around.We tok quite alot of cock as well and hmmm..i cant believe i resorted to telling u gossips about myself during our extended trip!i admire your spending powers and you'll always be remembered as the Apsara girl!
[changjie] well,im glad that during the extension,we got to know each other better and you are one humorous chap.i'll always rmb how you wana sell your stupid straw bag to me at 5USD!And yes,how about eating more baguettes and luxury biscuits?heehee.(tt was our pathetic state during the extension.living on such foods!)Thanks for your cashew nuts!
[Joyce]thanks for bringing me into this trip,without you,everything wouldn't have been possible and i won't even be writing this!*hugs*
[4.9] the extension was fun with you around.i need to worship you for being able to resist spending money!no wonder u are 4.9!
[alan]the same.Extension was fun with you guys!And you'll always be remebered as the guy who sleeps anywhere,any time eats and more beef than i ever did in my life!
Im glad our paths crossed my dear friends.For all those i haven mention,i would love to know you guys better but in a matter of 2 weeks,its probably impossible.Nonetheless,it's been a blessing that we met.
im beginning to feel realli worn out.It's strange how im falling sick when im in singapore but feel all well in cambodia.Home! This is where i belong.hur hur..
im still in a dilemma about my malaysia trip.
