October 30, 2005

but why is she so pissed?*shrugs*

She thinks that it's only right that her daughter gets sent home as long as you cannot see the sun no more. although i can understand where she is coming from, I always felt that it was senseless cos of the exorbitant cabfare. She needs to realise i stay in a far from centralised area. She was pissed. Really upset. Really pissed.Quite out of the ordinary if you ask me. I mean we were on a casual conversation and in a matter of mins , i saw the fire.

Just wondering if i do disagree with her views. Fortunately or unfortunately, papi pups pups thinks like she does too. I can hardly think now. I know that in all sense of the word 'gentleman', every person who is of sex M should be performing some kinda duty here. Then again, how do you explain butch/les/gay? *shrugs*

I told her not everyone who is 'gentlemanly' would send you home. She scolded me even more.Just my luck. Mrs Lim went on asking me why am i mixing ard with GAYS!In shock.For a moment, i fathom not her words. *shrugs* How did the conversation drift to this.

3mths to my 20th birthday and mum has imposed a curfew. I was secretly laughing in my heart when she said that. Since my existance, i was nv given one.So i could tell my kids in future tht their grandma gaf their mum a curfew at 20. I mean she has always been liberal and trusted me. Not that she isnt now.She thinks that her daughter has grown to be a prime target for horny taxi drivers. I thought that was so crude. hmm. Taxi driving have always been a noble profession,at least to me.So the curfew is somewhat apt during this period of exams, dont you think? haha. Then again, i know that even if i do not follow her instructions, I'll still be the Joanne i am now. But yes, I'll make an effort to go home early because i dislike this neighbourhood of mine. I am scared to go home 80% of the time.Just that, I always choose not to think abt all the possible mishaps.

It was nice when she told me this, " Do you know that everytime you are not back by the time i go to bed,i always pray for you and tell god that you are in zouk again!" haha,zouk isnt my life mum. How is she to explain all the late nights due to my bible lessons. Do i look like i was studying the bible in zouk? haha. I love mum. When she scolds, i always laugh.I always thought that her scolding me was funny.She always makes some ah lian remarks being the ah lian that she is.

Perhaps, I should really set myself a curfew at 20? What do you think? =)

October 28, 2005

Dinner was fried southern chicken at cartel with Adeline.
That's what bestfriends are for.
Sharing food to even out the fats and calories.Besides,we're very budget pple. I like!
Loved the free-flow of bread.Not cos its free.I like warm fresh bread.A bread making machine for my bday? =) i love bread and i dont care about low carbo diets which excludes bread.I think pple who don eat bread lead really sad life.Bread is my blood.

Anyway, shopping with her for Halloween was a joy.
Finally, I'll be looking evil at a Halloween Party. Ive been looking fairy-ish at all those previous Halloween costume dress-up parties. *winks*
I cannot understand why my inclination has always been those 'too-sweet-to-be-true' kinda character. Bimbos always tell me that i fail at looking evil. Surprisingly,meow told me the same thing at Spotlight,and I thought only pple who know me long enough will notice the superfemanine side of me.Looks like im predictable.I'm read like a book. *shrugs*

So..Who will i be this Halloween?
Check back!

October 27, 2005

Im jus

Nothing.
Just remotely pissed by the fact that i was told to meet my group 11pm online and hell do i have the most reliable group members.Waited.Waited.Waited.Still waiting.It's 1:30am now.Way past a decent bedtime .

Doesnt help that my wonderful SEA research essay is inflicted with some damages. Some weird virus attacked it and for a moment i thought my efforts committed suicide on its own. I've rescued it.

Oh well. Im only remotely pissed. I've learned not to get angry with pple anymore.
Immuned to my feellings.It's as though i cant feel anymore? Really. Try pissing me off.
angsty young lady?Used to be.

Now?
Learning to adopt Nonchalance.
Might help me destress too.

October 16, 2005

out of the ordinary.
maybe i am too ordinary for it
im just not aware.
hibernating in the library on a saturday is my new found past time.
i told you, im too ordinary for this extraordinary affair.
dont quite undstd wtheck im typing but it sure feels good lying on my bed and typing on this pretty ibook.

Language is something learned through your lifetime.
my dialect has improved while my mandarin has been kept in the closet for almost 2years now.
English?If its gona be my major, i do not have much of a choice,do i?im lovin it.I hope.
So what am i driving at?
Well im drawing my parallels to German.
It's too fun to be true,too stressful to be fun.I make so much of a sense,not.
My oral test is in less than 48hours and nothing sensible is coming outta my mouth.
Oral test,I loved oral test because i thought that my gift of gap was the best thing the lord has ever given me.
You know i am lying?

Why do i sound quite incoherent?
Maybe i really am.

a new time measuring device would be perfect now.
Why wont the clock stop for me?
i love the lord.
He makes things possible.
what about giving me just 12more hours daily?


**Last night, i dreamt of you.
You held me up so high.
You were the best thing that happened in my life.
Because good things come to an end,
im now back to where i began.
Ive lost the best thing in my life.**


ibook battery has finally died.
I uttered some rubbish to fully maximise the energy this pretty thing was left with.
Im thankful for my audience.
Did i mention this recently?
I have some really pesty uninvited guest on my blog.
can you please stop reading?
It's rude.

Im looking forward to my second treetop walk .

October 12, 2005

*WANTED: MUMMY!*


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REAL bad combination, but those were the days.We looked at pple with envy when they were eating sausages.and all we had-- bananas and beer. hee.

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We explored so many castles tgt.We travelled everywhere with our own intelligence.Beauty with brains baby! We cheated the transport system.I fought with the German Conductor! You felt embarrassed , rmb? =p

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We survived the worse night/day at a run-down domestic airport and continued our grouchy day at Venice.You took my shit when i whined non-stop.I tolerated your shit cos you were sick.you complained how bad the cough medcine was.We've REALLY seen the worst in each other.We were tired to our bones with our 25kg backpack...but we still made it.Right here is the Rialto Bridge in Venice..still looking like a dream come true to me. Picture perfect!

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We queued for 3hours to get up to the Vatican church.Climbed up the Dome using all the fats we had.Terribly famished because food was not our priority. I think the Vatican day..we only had cereal from the hostel! Yet,im sure our smiles in this pic still melt the world!

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The Hong Kong Restaurant in ROME we frequent! The only place i would ever spend $11 on a bowl of prawn mee without prawns =) I'll never forget how bloody happy you always were in this minimally populated restaurant no matter how much the food sucked.We are chinese,totally!
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I received my first bouquet with Roche from ya.NOone has ever done this..mummy!!you rawk =) You're more than a bestfriend. All my bimbos are. Bestfriend is not the word to use anymore.We are so powerful =)

MUMMY.. i havent seen ya for 2months. I swear i miss ya more than i would have missed my boyfriend if i had one. When i received ya sms from shanghai today, i was having GErman lect..how apt. When ya told me ya had low blood pressure.. i wanted to hug ya in my embrace cos i knew it was the feeling of homesick! Please eat in shanghai and stop dieting! China is dirt cheap Mummy.low blood is bad!You're a walking stick already!Any thinner and i might just crush ya when i next see ya!

I REALLY MISS WAKING BESIDE YOU!
(haha i sound so les!but i literally woke up beside ya daily for abt 1month in my life!)
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She's My Mummy. So pretty rite? *muacks*

October 08, 2005

:: MY CRUMBLING PRIDE::

Thought i could destress by one of those hobbys known as baking.
thought wrong.
Now, i am more depressed than ever.

mum and sis thinks i should just throw my unsweetened apple crumble away.
you didn't see wrongly. It is U-N-S-W-E-E-T-E-N-E-D.
Which retard would bake and completely slip the ingredient 'sugar' off her mind?
Can you please stop laughing at me now?!
*shrugs*
im so retarded.
To think i imagined that i can bake damn well.

Apples were sliced,not diced.So sis thinks its a major mistake? But the frigging recipe says i should slice it.
Mum asked why it doesn seem to taste like the one in Macs? its crumble,nota freaking pie .
So why is it not sweet? i told you i forgot the damn sugar.
So what happened to the base? It was too gelatinised?
they were all in this solemn solitude after tasting it.

constructive feedback is very harmful to someone who is under major stress .Sounds very wrong. Nvm, you know what i mean. They told me that i shouldnt let my fren try it.Save the embarrassment and buy my friends an apple crumble from the pastry shop later. I thought so too.But my shout-out of depression to my 3 bimbos made me smile. They received my sms and replied within 2mins. Friends are for life. I believe so.
How unlucky to have to try all my horrible baking.
I told you, friends are for life.
So babies, *muacks*

I wonder if they are gon laugh at me later. Afterall, it's yy's farewell dinner, i think he'll nv forget the most horrible last dish he had in Singapore..

" Dear Nic, i think i cannot be your business partner in the F&B outlet that we aspire to set up.My Successful baking instances were my numerous attempts of pineapple tarts..cheesecake..tiramisu..not forgetting those cookies. Do you think our F&B outlet will survive?*shudders* Oh yeah.. and you can cook those italian dishes. That's aboout all. We're quite pathetic. People adopt hobbys cos they are good at doing it.For us, we are in self denial. I believe tt if our business fails, we'll always have rich husbands to run to. *winks*. "

I think Nic can only see my plead in another 2weeks.She cannot access to blogspot cos china denied access to it.dumb. I shall
email her my post.I need to share with ALL my bimbos my sadness. She cannot taste it,so she shall read about it!

Suddenly, i rmb that Dad isn't in town. Im sure he'll feel super glad tt his daughter baked to welcome his return.

im in self denial again.

you know , i am a glutton?
i am a glutton you know?
a glutton i am,you know?

October 06, 2005

Tulip Heart's Day next wednesday! 12 oct 2005

If you love God,Buy tulips from me!
Buy and you will get CAP 5.0!

If you are too shy to carry the tulips, just give me!=)
Seen this semi-advert, you know what to do yeap?
Charity is calling on you.
Be sure that you won't be hearing more Gold Taps being installed!


Anywhere I see suffering, that is where I want to be, doing what I can.
*Princess Diana of Wales*

Depressed

Phenomenon: Depression

My negative correlation.
It only gets worse.

Smiling is next to being fake.

October 01, 2005

The whole day i was disturbed with this *beepbeep* person who has utter disrespect for a girl's pride. His EQ is in a state that i hope he doesn't get slapped by me one of these days.I mean every part of the word S.L.A.P.

Anyway, that's just a reminder not to step the tail on my fat ass.I look all nice because i am. LOOK.

Then there was this girl who sat in GE1101E perplexed by every climatology term Mr Professor was lecturing.She was me.
The nightmare has started. Physical geography is getting to me. The A1 at Olevels is a piece of cake. So why did i take this module in the first place? Well i was genuinely interested in the Earth i live in.Like...i hope to save the world and go green!haha. Seriously, it was human geography that i was looking at.human geog was super interesting. no?! So now that the physical part of it is being taught, i think my presence in LT11 is somewhat like "obligatory learning". i attend geog with the "i am here becos i do not wana waste my $50/ lecture." mentality. Very very wrong. How can a stellar girl like me be doing this. Well, it's all part of a social disconstruction baby! =)

xmas bash meeting. Either i didn't read instruction properly or what, but it didn't occur to me that it was a COMMITTEE meeting. You know there's always so many followers but so little leaders. I fall into the followers group since birth. So all those who were presumely interested were actually suppose to take up a committee and LEAD. Im not sure about this now. Mathematically, Joanne + Leadingship = Downfall . Scientifically, i do not possess the "Leading" genes. Sociologically, i am dysfunctional to this institution! Spiritually, God came to me. Verdict? I cannot reject God can i?
This whole xmas bash thing, i am looking forward to it.Im afraid that it might not be the case for pple who will bash it. I am more incapable than you can imagine. Publicity? Marketing?

By the 18th hour of today, i was THIS perturbed.

The rest of it?

Im not as predictable as you think.I know you think my life is boring.I had one of the best days in 9 months.Literally.

When there's too much of dullness, LITTLE big things matter ALOT. Irony? =)

Bern picked me up from sch and we wenta ECP lagoon for dinner. It was part of GE1101E! so fun eh? Dining is part of our module.Why dont you take this module too? =p "participant observation" was part of the research so being the greedy old me, eating is part of my participation ! We were to carry out surveys there! Tedious task ! ( like we didn't know that the person who designed the survey would also be the person doing it =P) Anyhow, work was probably of least priority. Participating in the food culture was of more importance naturally. hee. Satay , fried oyster wan tan mee..satay, fried oyster, wan tan mee..satay , fried oyster, wan tan mee.. quick repeat after me ! I dine there no more than 5 times in my life.Probably the 5th.It's been a LONG time.

Oh yeah, that was the end of our "RESEARCH".

Spinned around little singapore. "2hrs round the island tour " ! Well, not exactly. It was a mini "spooky-military adventure" We were at Seletar Camp area. I always dread it when u go out with guys, they bring you to "military" places. It happened to me many times. This was different though. He wanted to bring me into the camp.yes INTO THE CAMP! It's illegal! Really it is! As in you might go to jail! But whether i went in or not..i had better not illustrate the process. I was all excited to blog abt it initially but being in Singapore would not allow me to explicitly do it. What if i get sued?

illegal!! *heehee* So did i get into the camp?
If i did, how?
If i didn't? Then what happened? *heehee*

Bern was driving along and he had to suddenly say " dont look at the bus-stops". I started singing to myself jus to create some noises and hopefully ward off spirits?He had to off the radio and tell me to be quiet ! It felt so spooky just to sit in the car and tour seletar camp's vicinity! That part of Singapore makes your heart beat at 150beats/min! Scary shit. It doesn't help that he was trying to be funny and turned off the headlights, parked in front of this haunted house and say " look, so dark blah blah blah.." Wanted to throw him outta the car n drive myself home. haha.

Anyhow, im not a ghostbuste and will never want to be! Thank goodness im not possessed.God loves me.Amen.

long post! But it'll only get longer! The night ended with a visit to ICE CUBE caef at gardens.
I haven had sucha sinful indulgence for eons! (but y am i still so fat?) Anw, back to my ice cream with alcohol. We had a double shot Cookies & Cream with Baileys. Baileys! I got so high i didn't recognise...haha...marooon 5. okok back to my ice cream.. actually it would have been ordinary without baileys so i wished i had smuggled my own baileys in and jus pour in the ice cream? hehe. Mudpie was yummymummy. Perfect combi of milo over the mocha ice cream with oreos .. and well just super sinful. Milo! I would die for milo. Eh..wrong..i would die for strawberries sounds better but i think guys dont quite like sour/fruity things so i didn't order that.Was eyeing at some Berries Supreme. diplomacy is impt ! nvm, i'll berry my berry nother time. hee.
good time just catching up with him and talking about serious things too. I wonder if he thinks im boring cos i was ranting abt pple half the time..

ok, stop reading now. thanks for sharing my joy with me!

Oh and ... whatever happened to our Research proj? *grins*