the echo loft

Quidam Quidam Quidam Quidam Quidam
If you have the mildest interest in me, please take me there.
Really.

(joanne you desperate dog.)

Posted by Joanne at 01:10 | Permalink

CHILDISH nonsense but...

My family is eating crab at that melboune place WITHOUT ME !

Annoying.

Posted by Joanne at 19:33 | Permalink

Met Trina.

We talked about the issue on "boyfriend material".
We were so sure that some pple possess something like zero of it.
We talked about "seriousness in a girl"
We were so sure that if you had been so serious with the girl of ya life,nothing else would matter that much , until you win her over?(correct me if im wrong)

Some guys, they try really hard . Kudos . My point is that, it really isn't what you did for the person.How much you did, or how much of material things you "bless" her with.It isn't "i have something for you" all the time. I can understand that all these are part of the process to win a girl's heart,but i also hope that you can understand that such efforts will not guarantee you my heart.i sound very arrogant?Maybe i do and guys reading this would probably be super offended.Erm..

"boyfriend material" is just so difficult to define cos such an issue cannot be this technical can it?Think along these..there's just absolutely no chemistry with you ,i just cannot imagine kissing you.. your manly charm is non existent and even if it does,it doesn't attract me?Maybe i am in no position to criticise others cos i am as good as nothing. I don't think very highly of myself cos i know i am a loser most of the time. I have inferiority complex.You who know me is aware.

Back to "boyfriend material"(BM). Maybe i lack the ability to feel touched by you buying me 1000 things.Actually, i am a sucker who do feel very contented with little things in life but somehow, to be moved by your affections is quite a chore. BM is not the things you buy.I am not materialistic altho i aspire to be a taitai(but come on la tts a dream for 99% of girls). You know he's not the one when you don't even care whether he cares.You are so thankful he hasn't sacrificed for you.you are even more thankful that your handphone's inbox contains minimal messages from him.You just try very hard to avoid him.You dont look into his eyes when you talk.
When you see him talking about a new girl,you're DAMN thankful.

Don't sweet-talk me because i can see right through it.sweet talking isn't a relationship crime to be honest.It becomes unbearable when you are trying too hard to win the girl,hence overdoing it. I really admire the courage some people have in them to say veryveryveryveryveryveryvery disgusting things to girls but hell i am not gona buy that because im not a freaking bee.If you are my significant other,i would gladly flirt with you but if you aren't, please spare me.

Don't try too hard to hit it off well with my bestfriends because it will backfire.My bestfriends go through thorough QC check.Bestfriends are so called for a reason.We think in similar frequencies.Some people, they try hard to fish information from a girl's bestfriend. What happens consequently? you are further away from your target than you thought.

Some people question too much about my next-of-kin.Am i obliged to tell you about my family matters? Yes if you are my significant other.I would gladly invite you to my house and play with my beloved pups,mum and sis.I've heard that Some people, they try to please your parents! Wad era do you belong to? This is the 21st century. I have happening parents who think in my frequency(at least i think they do),they see right through a guy's intentions.They do not fancy such things. Their gratitude to the multitude of gifts you please them with can only be in terms of verbal gratification and not to trust their daugther to you. Thank you very much.

I like thinking aloud. Not QUITE referring to anyone in my post so don sue me.

Talked so much and i haven even mention what BM is. Well, when you see Jerome, you'll know. Right manda? =) *winks*

Posted by Joanne at 14:10 | Permalink

saturday night. im home.
It's hols.
are you gona laugh at me now?
im happening.
i have a frigging fever!I
wad a loser.
falling sick on the first day of hols.
quick laugh.

actually my day wasn't that bad.
I went for mooncake festival celebration in church.last min decision.
with a sister like mine,it's difficult to reject her.hee.
I found out very interesting things about myself after which.

1) i do appreciate chinese orchestra
2)As i am in my last youthful year(numerically only!), walking around church with a paper lantern was a super fun activity! i think im behaving more like my age than i did 3 years ago.3 years ago., i was 16 and i always yearned to be older.Now,i wish for stagnancy of time.NUS is stealing my youth.
3)I can guess chinese riddles better than english ones!
4) i am not as capable as i thought i would be.I lost to those aunties in games.(im jus not auntie enough!)
5)i can only get more sick if i kept lying on bed.I felt better after the celeb!

Self discovery is an achievement.I know at the back of my mind i am uttering nonsense but at least im speaking my thoughts.hee.

wait pause.my nose & ear is so blocked i hear echoes when i speak.

God's telling me to rest at home for the next week and stop tiring myself out with 100activities per day. Like readings are not enough..My research paper..my museum report..numerous projects..numerous deadlines... amen.

Posted by Joanne at 00:04 | Permalink

into the start of a wonderful mid sem break.wonderful.
i had the worst experiece ever some 1hour ago.
wonderful?hur.
sketchy character right here in bedok/chai chee.
I was stalked.
and you thought it was something exciting and desirable?
its a shady bastard with some metallic chains hanging all over him.
absobloodylutely scary.
coupled with his ethnic identity,it was something close to a tragedy for missy here.
distressed, i slowed down for him to overtake me.
he walked ahead,stopped at da bus stop, made some noise and asked me some brainless qns.
continued walking and i found myself inside an automated POSB bank to seek refuge.
i thought i was so smart since those lobbys would be installed with cammys.
decided to look busy by tking some $20 to bank in.
bloody machine was being a bitch.spoilt.
I knew i was about to cry.
really.
i was.my eye socket was hot.
rang sis up cos i gathered she would rescue me with the car.
didn't wana disturb parents cos it was unnecessary to blow it up.i thought.
damn.she was orchard-ing.
i was so thankful to see the man of my life in 10mins.
papa.
my glory and my victory.
when papa saw me
he only said ,
"i told you to get yourself a boyfriend!"

i attempted to give a vivid description.im sorry that my lingusitics abilities are as pathetic as..i dono wad to say.see my point? Oh well.bad.absobloodulutely horrid night. I thought my day couldn't get more lousy when i was whining to ade about almost every tweeny thing in my life.my paranoia.my misfortune is disturbing me!!

Posted by Joanne at 00:17 | Permalink

be forgiving, girl.
I did.
and i hurt myself.

so silly.

life's really boring.no excitement.im boring.i look at things in shades of grey.

why cant my post sound more positive?i haven been happy for a longlonglong while.
iamsoboringandsoboredofmylifewillsomeonepleasedosomethingexcitingforme.

Something juicy..This gay dude is quite a thrill to be with actually.He likes to pretend tt he is dating me which makes me pukebutistilllaugh?do u get my point? oh well. I dowan to think too much about it.

"he pokes fun of u cos he likes u."
This is false.

I want to go backpackin.
i miss my honeymoon with mummy in europe about 4mths ago.
i haven seen her for so long.
I miss her whining.
I miss her telling me she wana eat chocolates and roasted german meat.
i miss waking up beside her during that 25days of my life.

I miss dia.
i haven seen her since she got herself arrested by NTU.
I hope her mummy is less angry with her now.
I hope she has found a lot of new excitement in NTU.
I miss the girl who shares the same chinese name as me.
Soh Wan Ting..

I miss Jo.
Jo, come to FASS next yr ok.
Jo, you know, ignore tt *beepbeep* Mr ahem ok.
He deserves something like the rubbishdump.
not you my lovergirl.

i know i miss u da least mandee.
but i am still darn thankful tt u are here at the ridge with me.
you rock ok.
we are beautiful.
we haf great goals in life.
we do.
but we love eating. =)


I think i am suffering from bestfriends withdrawal syndromes.Perhaps that expalins my melancholic mood.

Indeed.

Posted by Joanne at 00:22 | Permalink

I love her.

My Schwester(in german so ple look it up).

No matter what the future holds, we'll be schwester till we share the heavenly banquet! =)



You have my prayers.

Posted by Joanne at 00:52 | Permalink

I've technically stepped into grounds of Kent Ridge for official academic purposes for 13days.
The month of August is over and i've only been in school for 13 days! I've counted. I operate on a 14 days per month schedule.I still think i can further utilise my $20 K education.Perhaps by hanging out more at central lib..hurhur. Try harder Joanne. Im quite a disappointing figure sometimes,most of the time..all the time.I am genuinely hardworking ok.Dont laugh.I really am.But no one said that hardwork is the equivalent of erm fantastic results right.Well at least im doing what i can.Insecurity is creeeping in.I am afraid that a stupid hybrid student like me will probably be at the losing end of the stick when semester one results are out. Im so new to this whole ARTS way of working. What should i do? I am reading and reading and reading.What am i suppose to get out of these readings?Im disgustingly disoriented when it comes to readings.I look like im damn diligent rite.Im nothing more than a deficient airhead la.Im doing what i THINK is right. Probably not what IS right. Seems like i need redemption.

See, that's a problem with me.I obviously need to be redeemed not seemingly at all.I have too much pride in me?Maybe Miss Lim is right about this.A tweeny disappointment which happened abt 52hrs ago kinda taught me something.God was probably trying to show me the way outta pride. I need to view it that way or else the pride i own will crush my being and i predict i will just become super inferior all over again.why Joanne? You really suck as a person.I thought i could be more noble than that. I THOUGHT. Well, thoughts of a higly dyfunctional 19yr old. What can i say?

Even as i am blogging, i have so much pride that i am not disclosing what the heck issue(s) i am talking about. Not yet a sweet little thing after all.I never thought of associating myself to be that way anyhow.It's just quite tragic that many new pple i meet in my life now thinks that im a sublime little girl. Pigs can fly !We all know by now that looks ARE really deceiving. Cliched. Then again, i am only being the unthinking self i've always been.

Im somewhere in between.

Posted by Joanne at 00:06 | Permalink